


Vancouver

by Showmethedestiel



Series: America [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Cockles, F/M, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Jared's an interrupting shit, M/M, Mentioned Gen and Jared, Misha Collins x Jensen Ackles, Misha has a crush on Jensen, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, bottom!misha, top!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:46:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9507011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Showmethedestiel/pseuds/Showmethedestiel
Summary: Cockles - from the beginning.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, Misha's married to Vicki, but Jensen never meets Daneel.  
> No disrespect to either Misha or Jensen (Or Vicki, or Daneel) - this is just some harmless fiction. Enjoy!  
> -B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha and Jensen meeting on set.

“Dude, have you met the new guy yet?” Jared asked Jensen in the middle of a scene, while they were waiting to be told what to do. Jensen shook his head,

“No, but I’m shooting with him later today, why, what’s he like?” Jared hesitated before saying,

“No, he seems nice.” Jensen narrowed his eyes at his friend,

“But…”

“I dunno, he’s just a little weird I guess.” Jared shrugged.

“Weird how?” Jensen asked, but just then the director yelled at them to get ready for the scene – Jensen never did hear Jared’s answer to that.

 

Later that day, Jensen was on set, waiting for this new guest star to appear. Jared had told him his name was _Misha_ , but he was late and Jensen was getting fed up waiting. Finally a lost looking figure walked onto set, wearing a suit and a trench coat.

“Sorry I’m late.” The man sounded slightly embarrassed, but got into position quickly, facing Jensen. As soon Misha started reading his lines Jensen did a mental double-take. _The hell’s up with this guy’s voice?_ He thought – he was sure it hadn’t sounded like that a minute ago. Jensen realised it was his turn to speak and put on a professional façade – going into ‘Dean mode’ and focusing on the scene. When the scene was over, Misha turned to Jensen and extended a hand, clearing his throat.

“Hi, I’m Misha.” His voice was back to normal, which threw Jensen for a moment, before he composed himself and shook Misha’s hand.

“I’m uh, I’m Jensen. It’s good to meet you.” Jensen smiled briefly before walking off to find Jared. He was glad this guy was just a guest star – they weren’t off to a great start.

Jared was in his trailer when Jensen eventually found him. He walked in without knocking, Jared was smiling gleefully at his phone.

“Dude, what are you so happy about?” Jensen asked, coming in, before adding, “And please don’t say it’s porn.” Jared shot him an annoyed glance.

“I got the new girl’s number.” Jared put down his phone and went to get Jensen a drink.

“Who, Misha?” Jensen said, laughing more than he probably should have been. Jared frowned and handed him a beer.

“No, Genevieve. Have you met her yet?”

“No, you’ll have to introduce us.” Jensen took the beer and sat heavily at the table.

“You okay man?” Jared asked, noticing Jensen’s gloomy temperament.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Jensen rubbed his face, “Just… You were right.” Jared’s expression was blank.

“I usually am. But more specifically…”

“About the new guy – Misha. He’s weird. Jensen frowned and took a drink.

“C’mon dude, he’s not that bad.” Jensen shook his head,

“True, he’s not. We just got off to a bad start. And if I’m wrong, he’ll only be here for a couple weeks.” Jensen raised his bottle, “Cheers.”

 

Over the next few days, Jensen and Misha stumbled around each other awkwardly on set – both literally and metaphorically. On multiple occasions Jensen found himself narrowly avoiding falling onto the other man, upon finding him popping up in unexpected places.

It wasn’t that Jensen _didn’t like_ Misha, it was more that he wasn’t his usual, suave self around him, and that put him on edge. He had to keep reminding him that it would only be a few weeks until he was gone.

After a week of Misha working on set, Jensen was just finishing up a scene with him when Jared came over.

“Hey man, so a couple of the guys were heading out to the bar tonight. You coming?”

“Sure, I’m game. You gonna invite Genevieve?”

Jared blushed and looked around shyly. “Maybe. You think she’d come?”

Jensen chuckled, “Yeah man, I think she’d come.” Jared broke into a grin, before noticing Misha standing awkwardly behind Jensen, staring at his script. Jared glanced at Jensen before saying,

“Hey Misha, you wanna join us tonight?”

Misha looked up from his script. “Uh, sure.”

“Okay cool I’ll text you the details.” Jared said warmly. Misha nodded and walked away. When Jared turned his attention back to Jensen he was being given a cold glare.

“Really dude?”  Jared shrugged.

“I don’t see what the big deal is man, it’s just one night. Who knows, maybe you’ll like him.” Jensen smirked and walked away, leaving behind an irritated Jensen.

 

Jared and Jensen got to the bar first; it was a pretty nice place – a dancefloor surrounded by booths and loud music drowning out most conversation. They chose a booth near the back; it was more private.

Next arrived Mark Pellegrino and Rob Benedict, and soon after Gen. At _this_ point Jared’s attention was drawn away from everyone and anyone else, so Jensen was forced to turn his attention to the other two. They were in a heated argument about the show when Misha showed up – he was wearing a blue cardigan, black jeans and a leather jacket. On anyone else it would have looked ridiculous – but on Misha it sort of worked.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late, I got kinda lost.” Misha sat down on the free seat across from Jensen – greeting the rest of the group, who seemed strangely friendly with him. When Misha got to him, he offered a small wave and Jensen nodded curtly in return.

As the night went on, everyone got more and more drunk – especially Jensen. It turned out that Misha was pretty funny and had some fascinating and hilarious stories. Someone might even describe him as charming – not Jensen, but someone. By the end of the night, Jensen had laughed more than he thought he must’ve in years – proper, head thrown back, sore stomach muscles, laughter.

Jensen was an affectionate drunk, so when the group departed, Jensen gave each of them warm, lingering hugs. Misha was last to leave and Jensen’s drunk-self gave him an especially long hug, to make up for being a bit standoffish up until then. When he pulled away, Misha looked a little startled, but drunk-Jensen just smiled and waved as he left – actually looking forward to his next day shooting.

 

 

** Misha’s POV: **

 

When Misha had first met Jensen, he’d pinned him as the typical, over-friendly, rich actor type. Of course, Misha still had manners, so he acted friendly enough around him, but it wasn’t _not_ deliberate that Jensen might have got the wrong idea about Misha. The rest of the crew seemed like genuinely lovely people, as far as Misha could tell from his limited time with them.

A lot of his free time on set he’d spend in private - reading, rehearsing or knitting. Misha had never been on a set like this – it was all new and he wasn’t sure of the etiquette. He didn’t bother making too many friends, or learning the ins and outs of the place; after all, he’d be gone in a few weeks.

One day, he and Jensen had just finished a scene, when Misha saw Jared coming over to talk to Jensen. Misha stood and stared at his script – not even trying to read it. Jared was inviting Jensen out to a bar. Jensen accepted the invitation and commented on the obvious _thing_ between Gen and Jared, before Jared noticed Misha.

“Hey Misha, you wanna join us tonight?”

“Uh, sure.” He replied, a little unenthusiastically, surprised at the offer.

“Okay, cool. I’ll text you the details.” Jared said. Misha just nodded and walked away. As he turned the corner, he noticed Jensen giving Jared a _What the fuck?_ look. _I guess he has noticed then._ Misha thought, shrugging.

 

Before going to the bar, Misha decided to call Vicki.

“Hi Misha. How’s acting?”

“Hey Vicki, acting’s fine. How’s Dave?” Vicki was seeing a friend of Misha’s at the moment – he ‘kept her company’ while Misha was in Vancouver.

“Dave’s fine. So did you call for a reason or…?”

“I just was just checking in really. I’m about to go out to a bar with some of the guys.”

“Oh that’s good. Who’s going?”

“Uh, Jensen, Jared and a couple others I think.”

“Jensen huh? He’s pretty hot, don’t you think?”

“What?!” Misha almost yelled, “No, and how did you even- have you been googling my co-workers Vicki?”

“Yes. It seemed sensible- but you really don’t think he’s cute?”

“No! I mean he’s conventionally handsome, but he’s got that male-model rich guy attitude, y’know? Not my type.”

“Hmm.” Vicki hummed contemplatively

“What?”

“Well, how do you _know_ he’s not your type? Have you given him a chance?”

“Not really- but oh, would you look at the time, I’ll be late for my _bro’s night out._ Love you, bye.” Misha hung up the phone, shoving it in his jacket pocket. He really was going to be late now. Grabbing his car keys, Misha left his apartment and got in his car. Fifteen minutes later, he realised that he was lost. He hadn’t been in Vancouver for long and the bar was a while away from set. Frustrated, he pulled over and checked the map. As soon as he’d found the route to the bar, his phone rang. He fished it out of his pocket – it was Kim Manners, the director of this season.

“Hello?”  
“Hey Misha, Kim here. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been talking to a few people on the team – including Eric Kripke – and we’re thinking of keeping Castiel on past this season. You can call me back once you’ve thought about it”

“Um, okay, all right, I'll call you back in the morning?” Misha replied, a little shocked.

“Sure. Bye Misha.” Kim hung up, leaving a surprised Misha in the silence of his car. _Well, shit._ Misha thought. The rest of the car journey gave him some time to think about this; sure, he’d have to endure more time with Jensen and away from his wife, but this meant they actually liked his acting! This meant a more stable contract and reliable pay-check. Misha was in a good mood by the time he made it to the bar.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late, I got kinda lost.” He sat down next to Rob – at the end of the booth. He greeted the guys, waving across at Jensen over the loud music. Jensen nodded his head in return – which normally would have pissed Misha off, but with the good mood he was in, he just brushed it off. After not too long Misha had had several beers and was into the exotic cocktails section of the night. This was not a good thing. Cocktail-drunk-Misha was a Misha who flirted with beautiful people - in this circumstance however, Misha found himself, begrudgingly, staring longing and curious across the table at Jensen.

That night Misha found himself telling stories, making the group laugh and boasting of his sexual exploits – carefully avoiding the incidences with men after experiencing negative responses from groups of homophobic guys. Surprisingly, Misha managed to hold off on the obvious flirting in his very drunk state, even though Jensen was warming to him.  As the night was drawing to a close, Misha was making eyes more and more blatantly at Jensen – staring into his emerald irises and admiring the way he threw his head back laughing whenever Misha made a joke. The first to leave was Rob, then Mark and lastly Jared and Gen – sharing a cab. Misha was the last to leave, and was about to say goodbye to Jensen, when he was engulfed in the other man’s warm embrace. He automatically reciprocated the hug, subconsciously smelling his hair. It smelled like spice. This was one of the first memories of Jensen that Misha stored away in his mind for later, even remembering it after his hangover the next morning. When Jensen pulled away, Misha knew that his face was probably showing most of what he felt – but he didn’t really care at the time. All he cared about was the way the light enhanced Jensen’s cheekbones and reflected off his lips.

That night Misha took a cab back to his apartment and flopped face down on his bed, sighing into the sheets.

“Fuck, why is Vicki always right?” He groaned, borrowing under the covers, beginning to fear the hangover the morning would bring.

The next morning he woke up with a pounding headache and a memory that could be described as patchy at best. One thing Misha definitely _did_ remember however, were the thoughts he’d had about Jensen the night before. He had to go to set that day, and work with Jensen, which he was _not_ looking forward to.  

As soon as he arrived on set, Misha remembered that he hadn’t called Kim back, nor had he told Vicki about his potential job extension. He shot a quick text to her, explaining things as well as admitting she was right about Jensen, before texting Kim and accepting. _Holy shit, I’m gonna be a regular on a show_ he thought, starting to realise the extent of it. He had to shoot a scene in five minutes however, so instead of having a crisis, Misha walked, full of dread, to shoot the scene. He was left waiting for ten minutes – Jensen was late. Misha wasn’t surprised – he’d had more to drink than Misha last night, and probably wasn’t looking forward to seeing Misha either. Eventually Misha felt a strong hand land on his shoulder; he turned around and saw Jensen. He looked fucking wrecked – his hair had been forced into a presentable mess and he looked as if he hadn’t slept at all.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” He said to Misha, who shrugged,

“I don’t mind.” Jensen smiled and got into position for the scene. _Why the fuck is he being so friendly?_ Misha thought, before getting into character and shooting the scene. By the time they both got a lunch break, Jensen looked slightly less unkempt. Misha got his lunch and sat at his usual table. He often sat alone, but sometimes a guest star or some of the crew would join him. Today, Misha was in the middle of texting Vicki, when he saw two large men sit across from him out of the corner of his eye. He put his phone away,

“Hey guys.” He greeted Jared and Jensen.

“Hey Misha, mind if we sit here?” Jensen said, warmly.

“Uh nope. Go ahead.” Misha said, slightly apprehensive and suspicious, as well as having to conceal his slight blush from his thoughts of Jensen from the previous night.

“So Misha, how are you liking working here?” Jared asked, helping himself to one of Misha’s fries.

“Yeah, it’s great. It’s definitely… Different than I expected.” Misha chuckled.

 “Good different?” Jensen asked, casually.

“Weird different.” Misha laughed and the other two nodded, they looked like they wanted to say something else.

“So.” Jared began,

“So…” Misha encouraged.

“Are you becoming a series regular?” Jensen blurted out. Misha’s eyes widened, panicked, he replied,

“Um, I don’t know, are you?” Jared laughed,

“Misha, we’re the main characters.”

“Right. Well, I might be, I don’t know. It’s all… Up in the air right now.” Misha avoided their curious stares.

“You are!” Jared exclaimed, grinning.

“What?! I didn’t say that.” Misha said, defeated. “How did you guys know?”

“There was a rumour going around set, and we’re actors - we can tell when you’re acting dude.” Jensen chimed in.

“Oh. Well I only found out yesterday, so don’t tell anyone okay?”

“Sure, sure. Well congrats anyway man!” Jared reached over the table and patted Misha on the back, making Misha smile.

“Yeah, congrats.” Jensen added, “We should go out and celebrate.”

“Seriously? I’m practically still drunk.” Misha said, dubiously.

“Not _tonight._ How about this weekend? Y’all could come to our apartment, invite a few guys, grab some drinks.” Jensen offered.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks guys.” Misha said gratefully. Maybe he was actually getting accepted into this community.


	2. Two

Misha had a few days off work after that - what with Castiel not being a main character - so Jensen didn’t see him until that weekend. Jared had invited Gen, Mark, and Rob to Misha’s celebration; he’d also bought copious amounts of alcohol.

Misha arrived first; which was unusual.

“Hey Mish.” He said, opening the door and patting him on the back.

“Ackles.” Misha replied, grinning, before walking in to greet Jared. The name was almost affectionate, he thought. Maybe the guy was just weird on set – or maybe he was just warming to Jensen.

The others came soon afterwards, Jared putting out the drinks when they did. Gen had brought two of her friends - Holly and Jade, Jensen checked them out; they were pretty cute.

Jensen was on his fourth beer, in a pleasant drunk haze. He was telling a story about something that happened on set, and he saw Misha’s eyes fixed on him; they were so _blue._ Jensen could get lost in them if he wasn’t careful. When he’d finished the story he realised everyone else had stopped listening at some point; or maybe they never had been – either way it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was Misha’s soft smile across the room. God the man was _perfect._

Jensen’s thoughts weren’t romantic – or at least they didn’t register to _him_ as that at the time, they were just admiring. Jensen was chatting with Holly when he noticed Misha. He must’ve been onto harder drinks at that point because he was getting very cosy with Rob on the couch. Currently he was practically sitting on the poor man’s lap, whispering something in his ear – uncomfortably close. Something stirred inside Jensen. He told himself he didn’t want Misha to embarrass himself, but he’d later realise that wasn’t true at all.

“Hey buddy,” Jensen said, coming up to the pair. “Robbie, you okay there?” Rob looked up at him helplessly.

“Uh…”

“Come on Mish.” Jensen said, taking hold of Misha’s arm and letting Rob get away.

“Aww c’mon Jen, he was fine.” Misha sad, slurring a bit, eyebrows tented at Jensen.

“Dude, you are fucking wasted _._ ” He wrapped an arm around Misha’s waist - the other man slinging an arm over his shoulders. “Come on.” Misha grunted.

“Mm fine.” It wasn’t convincing.

Jensen staggered with the other man wrapped around him to his bedroom. He let go of Misha, who flopped face-up onto the bed, before propping himself up on his elbows and grinning.

“Jen, I like you, but I don’t think we’re at this stage ‘n our relationship.” Jensen felt his face heat up.

“Go to bed, idiot.” He said, gently, closing the door as he left.

When he got back to the living room, he noticed Jared and Gen’s eyes on him.

“What?” He asked them. They looked at each other and giggled.

“Dammit Jared, you win.” Gen fished a ten dollar bill from her bag and gave it to Jared. Jensen looked between them in confusion.

“What were you guys betting on?”

“Nothing.” Jared said, feigning innocence.

“We were betting on whether you’d gotten into Misha’s pants.” Gen corrected. Jensen’s eyebrows shot up –

“What?! Why would you even- We weren’t- I’m not…” He didn’t end up finishing any of his sentences.

“Dude, chill. It was just a joke.” Jared said. Jensen huffed and walked away, giving them dirty looks.

Everyone went home before 3AM; leaving Jared and Jensen in the living room and Misha in Jensen’s bed.

“Guess I’m on the couch then.” Jensen sighed.

“You can have my bed if you want.” Jared slurred.

“Dude, you can barely fit _sitting_ on the couch, never mind sleeping on it.” He waved a hand, “You go to bed.” Jared was leaning against the wall, eyelids drooping.

“M’kay. Night.” He murmured before stumbling to his room. Jensen guessed Misha would be asleep, so he quietly opened his own bedroom door. Sure enough, his friend was on top of the covers, hair sticking everywhere, lips parted. Jensen sighed before coming over and pulling some covers over him. Misha nuzzled his face into them contentedly.

“Thanks.” He murmured.

“G’night Misha.” Jensen whispered back, turning to get what he came for; some sweatpants and a blanket. He found them and walked back to the living room, changing and settling down on the couch. It was small, so the only comfortable position was lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. Luckily Jensen was pretty drunk and tired, so that didn’t bother him, and he fell asleep quickly.

 

** Misha’s POV  **

****

Misha had been at the party for a few hours; he'd had many beers and was currently sipping on a vodka and coke. Jensen was telling a story, and Misha was admiring the way his lips moved and his eyes lit up when he laughed. Misha sat back and carried on giving all his attention to Jensen; he was drunk enough to not care _too_ much at this point.

Later, Misha was on the couch talking to Rob. He was an interesting guy, but he found he couldn’t concentrate on anything he was saying because of Jensen chatting up one of Gen’s friends across the room. He was leaning against the wall, face close to hers, and kept doing this annoying little seductive smirk. It was pissing Misha off. _Hell, if he can flirt – so can I._ Misha turned his attention back to Rob, who as it turned out wasn’t talking anymore, instead he was staring at him curiously. Misha sat back and put an arm around Rob.

“Y’know, Rob – you have really nice eyes.” He tilted his head and watched for Rob’s reaction.

“Uh- thanks Misha.” He sounded a little intimidated honestly, but Misha’s drunk self didn’t register that. After half an hour, hewas half on top of poor Rob, whispering in his ear. It was meant to be seductive, but in their drunk states; it really wasn’t.

They noticed someone come up to them.

“Hey buddy.” It was Jensen. Misha didn’t look up. “Robbie, you okay there?” _Maybe it was working._ The next thing Misha knew was Jensen’s strong hand on his arm.

“Come on Mish.” He was pulled away from Rob; who’s company he was actually quite enjoying.

“Aww c’mon Jen, he was fine.” Misha tried to look pleadingly at Jensen, but he wasn’t in total control of his face at that point.

“Dude, you are fucking wasted _._ ” Jensen put his arm around Misha’s waist, which he thought was a suitable substitute for Rob’s company. Misha draped his arm over Jensen’s shoulder.

He was led to a bedroom. Misha’s heart raced, and his head reeled. Jensen released him and he fell onto his back on the bed, before sitting up on his elbows. Lying there on the bed, Misha couldn’t help but imagine the possibilities; Jensen trailing kisses down his chest until he got to his pants, where he’d look up, through thick eyelashes – teasing. Then he’d slowly unbuckle the belt and- Misha snapped out of his thoughts.

“Jen, I like you, but I don’t think we’re at this stage ‘n our relationship.” He slurred. Jensen blushed, which Misha thought was cute.

“Go to bed, idiot.” Jensen said, with affection, leaving the room. Misha was thankful for this, after glancing down and noticing the obvious tent in his pants. He let his head fall back on the sheets and groaned, before rolling over and ignoring his boner. The pillows smelled like Jensen.

 

Misha had no memory of how he came to be under the covers the next morning. Nor did he have much memory whatsoever. He sat up and winced at his headache, though it wasn’t as bad as the last time he’d got that drunk. He threw the sheets aside and made his way to the living room, walking in he saw Jensen sleeping on the couch, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, a blanket on the floor. He looked quite beautiful to Misha – lying in a beam of morning light, arm draped over his eyes. Misha realised he was staring, so tore his eyes away and went to the kitchen for some food. They didn’t have much – two kinds of cereal and no tea. He settled for some toast, and was sitting at the kitchen table when he got a call from Vicki.

“Hey babe,” Hey answered, through a mouthful of toast.

“Hey Misha, thanks for calling me back.”

“I didn’t-“ He started,

“It was sarcasm honey. Didn’t you notice I called you last night?”

“Oh shit, sorry. I was with some of the guys.”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t important. But what _is_ important; have you kissed the pretty boy yet?” Vicki teased.

“No.” He replied, taking another bite of toast. “And I’m not going to Vick – he’s a co-worker, it wouldn’t work out. Just drop it would you?”

“Okay, okay. So you’re staying on the show for another season huh?” They talked for half an hour before Misha heard someone was awake.

“I gotta go babe. Love you.” Misha hung up the phone as Jensen walked in, yawning.

“Who was that?” He asked, gesturing at Misha’s phone.

“Oh, uh my wife.” He replied. Jensen looked surprised, with a hint of what Misha would call disappointment–

“You’re married? Why didn’t I know this?” Misha shrugged, “Never came up I guess.” Jensen sat down across from Misha with two cups of water and some aspirin. He handed one to Misha, who accepted.

“So how long you been married?”

“Uh, about 6 years. We’ve been together since we were sixteen though.”

“Wow, childhood sweethearts huh.” He though for minute, before saying, “But wait, does that mean you guys _weren’t_ together for a while though?”

“No, why would you think that?” Misha replied, confused.

“Because you told us you got off with all sorts of women all over the place; you’re not telling me you did that when you were fifteen?”

“No. I’m not telling you that.” Jensen’s confused expression deepened, before it turned to one of judgemental curiosity,

“So… You cheated?”

“What?! No, of course not. I love Vicki.” Jensen looked more confused than ever.

“My wife, she actually suggested most of the things I told you about.” Misha took another bite of toast. “She’s pretty… Adventurous. It’s awesome, actually.” Jensen’s jaw dropped,

“So… So she was cool with all that?” Misha nodded, chuckling.

“Oh yeah, and so much more.”

“Do tell.” Jensen said, intrigued, but Misha waved a dismissive hand.

“Another time.” Much of what Misha had to tell was about experiences with men, and although he was in no way ashamed, he wasn’t sure he was ready to share both his kinks and his sexuality with a straight Texan he met a little less than two weeks ago. So he stored those stories away for a later date - instead changing the subject to the show. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologise if any of this doesn't fit chronologically with real life; but sometimes I have to use some artistic license for the story to work. Enjoy!  
> -B


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen freaks out over his feelings for Misha, Jared figures it out. Misha and Vicki take a big step.

The next few months on set were pretty uneventful for the cast – Misha fitting in with Jared and Jensen so much that they pranked and annoyed him nearly constantly. Misha tried to shove aside his attraction to Jensen, and it worked pretty well - up until the last day of shooting. Someone had organised a party for the whole cast and crew, celebrating the new season. The venue was a spacious hall, with an open bar, a DJ and a dancefloor.

People began filling the hall; writers, actors and crew, and soon the place was thriving with life and noise. Jared was sitting at the bar with Rich, Rob and Misha, watching Jensen chat up a woman nearby. She had a dark brown bob, sapphire eyes and was pretty tipsy. Her name was Maddi, and she was clearly interested in Jensen – leaning in close and giggling flirtily every time he said something. It was entertaining at first, but as the evening went on and the pair got more and more intimate, Misha found himself turning back to the bar and purposefully avoiding looking at them, jealousy stirring within him.

Jensen on the other hand, was soon being led outside by Maddi – and he was not complaining as she pinned him up against a wall and kissed his neck, pulling aside his shirt to bite marks into his collarbone. Jensen groaned, breaking away to pull Maddi to his car.

“Your place or mine?” He asked, breathlessly.

“Mine, it’s only five minutes away.” She replied, getting into the car. Jensen was definitely too drunk to be driving; but he didn’t care – he just wanted to do this.

They stumbled in the door, stripping as they made their way to the bedroom.

Jensen didn’t last long; soon he was panting and groaning. He felt his release coming and he looked down at the girl below him; her striking blue eyes and sweat–mussed brown hair.

“ _Misha,_ ” Jensen groaned, spilling into her. He collapsed, rolling off beside him.

 _“Misha?_ ” Maddi asked, incredulously. “Dude, do you have a girlfriend?” Jensen felt his face flush with heat,

“What!? No, did I say that? I meant… Maddi.” He stumbled over his words, slowly retreating from the bed. Maddi raised an eyebrow.

“ _Sure.”_ She sighed, “Look, Jason-“

“Jensen.”

“Right, Jensen. This was great, but… Go get Misha.” She gave him a pointed look and Jensen’s eyebrows shot up and he looked lost for words.

“I… He’s not- We don’t- I can’t-…” Jensen sighed in defeat, picking up his boxers and starting to get dressed.

“Okay, none of that sounded true, but okay. Good luck Jensen.” He smiled gratefully in reply and collected the rest of his clothes from the floor.

“Well, this was great. Bye Maddi.” Jensen waved at the woman in the bed, still naked and watching him curiously.

“Goodbye Jensen. Lock the door on your way out would you?”

 

After that, they had a few months’ hiatus – during which Misha went back to his wife in L.A. and Jensen had some time to have a crisis about Misha.

Jared went back to Texas with Gen for the first few weeks, but he was flying back that day. Jensen hadn’t moved much since Jared left. He was sitting on the couch – watching daytime TV and eating chips. He heard the door open –

“Hey man, I’m back.” Jared called through, before appearing in the doorway. “Woah, you okay there?” He asked, taking in the mess of Jensen.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” Jensen waved a dismissive hand, “You’re back _today?_ What time is it?”

“Uh, like, noon?”

“Huh.” Jensen looked around curiously. “How was Texas?” Jared dumped his bags by the door, sitting on an armchair.

“Texas was fine- dude, did something happen while I was gone? I haven’t seen you like this... Ever.” Jensen gave him a dirty look,

“That’s great dude.” He turned back to the TV, throwing an empty chocolate wrapper to the floor. Jared reluctantly stood up and picked up some of the garbage on the floor, putting it in the trash.

“Have you seen any of the guys at all? Like Misha?” Jensen’s head whipped round,

“No! Why would I have seen _Misha?_ ”

“Dude, are you drunk? Anyway I thought you were cool with him now.”

“I’m not _drunk._ I’ve just had a beer or two, and I _am_ cool with him. Why wouldn’t we be cool? Did he say something?” He looked around, suddenly panicked.

“Woah, dude – chill. I haven’t spoken to him. What’s going on Jensen? Talk to me.” Jared’s face was concerned and genuine. Jensen wiped a hand down his face, groaning.

“I can’t.” He shook his head. “I’m good man, I’ll survive.”

“No. Dude, I know you. Deal with your shit – tell me what’s going on.” Jensen sighed.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. There’s this… Girl.”

“Who?”

“I can’t tell you who it is, but there’s this girl and I think I’m attracted to her, but I’ve never _been_ attracted to anyone like her before and it scares me, because I never thought I _would_ be attracted to anyone like her, but her eyes are so beautiful and she’s so funny and charming and I just wanna-“ He gestured, “You know?”

“It’s not Gen, is it?”

“What? No of course not dude.”

“Okay, okay, just checking. So, I don’t see the problem; why not just go get her?” Jared raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t just _go get_ her! I don’t even think they feel the same way and even if I wanted to… She’s married. It’s complicated, but she’s married.” Jensen thought for a minute. “And I don’t _want_ to be with them, I can’t _want_ to be with them. Ugh…” He buried his face in a pillow.

“Dude – she’s married?”

“Yeah, she’s married, but she’s been with other people - sexually, while married - which her wife was cool with, but I _don’t know_ what the situation is.”

“She’s married to a woman?” Jared was getting more and more confused.

“Um, yeah. And I don’t even know if she’s _into_ guys. And I don’t even know if _I’m_ into _her._ ”

“Okay, okay.” Jared shook his head, “So – there’s this woman, who you _think_ you like, but you’re not sure, and you don’t know if she even likes _guys_ never mind you? And for some reason dating her freaks you out.” Jensen nodded. “Well… To me it seems like you should just talk to _her_ about this, instead of destroying your liver on the couch.”

“Okay, _mom._ ” Jensen said, turning off the TV. Jared nodded and stood up to unpack. “Hey Jared? Thanks.” Jared nodded again and walked away.

 

That night, Jared was lying in bed. He couldn’t get to sleep because of jetlag, and he was thinking about what Jensen had told him.

_Who could have gotten him that messed up?_

_Who did they both know that was married to a woman?_

_Why wouldn’t Jensen tell him who it was?_

He had so many questions. Suddenly something clicked, the gears started turning, and it all fell into place; Jensen’s occasional _they_ pronouns, the mysterious person they _both_ knew, who was married to a woman - a woman who was down with her partner sleeping with other people. Someone who might make Jensen question his entire life. Jared sat up suddenly,

_Holy shit – Jensen’s in love with Misha._

 

** Misha’s POV  **

****

Meanwhile in L.A. Misha was lying in bed next to Vicki – breathing heavily.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He panted, rolling over to wrap his arms around his wife.

“You’ve been back for three weeks babe.” She replied, leaning into him.

“I know, but I still missed you.” He kissed her neck sweetly. There was a pause, before Vicki spoke,

“Misha?”

“Yes Vicki?”

“I wanna start a family.” She turned to face him, his eyebrows raised.

“Like, have a baby?” He asked and she nodded.

“I would love to have babies with you babe.” Vicki beamed.

“So we’re gonna start trying?”

“I guess so.” Misha laughed in disbelief, before kissing Vicki passionately. _We’re gonna have a baby!_

This put Misha’s mind off thoughts of Jensen for the rest of the hiatus. On the last day before Misha went back to work, him and Vicki had just – to put it politely – had sex. Misha sighed,

“What if you’re not pregnant yet? We’ll have to wait for _months._ ”

“I know babe, but don’t worry – there’s no rush. We have the rest of our lives.” Misha hummed contentedly and rolled over.

“Yeah, we do.”  


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha and Jensen get drunk at a party...

Jensen had only been back on set for a few hours, and he didn’t have to film any scenes with Misha that day –which he was grateful for. He’d already had to stop in his tracks and change direction multiple times around set to avoid the other man.

Currently, he and Jared were walking to Jared’s trailer for a break. Jared never had addressed Jensen about his realisation about he and Misha, but instead was waiting to see how things played out.

“You talked to Misha yet? I haven’t seen him.” Jensen’s pace faltered a little,

“Uh, no I hav-“ Jensen was cut off by a figure crashing into him. “Woah, dude-“

“Oh shit, sorry Jensen, I was distracted.” Misha held up his phone to prove it.

“Oh, uh, hey Mish. Didn’t realise it was you.” Jensen cleared his throat awkwardly, “Well, we should get going.”

“…Okay.” Misha raised an eyebrow at Jared, who just shrugged and wandered after Jensen.

“That was weird.” Misha muttered under his breath.

 

The first scene Misha shared with Jensen was worse. When the cameras weren’t rolling, Jensen straight-up ignored him. There wasn’t much Misha could do about it, so he just shot confused looks at the other man when he could.

As they were leaving for the day, Misha went to Jared’s trailer;

“Hey Misha, what’s up?”

“What the hell is going on with Jensen?” Misha’s voice was raised.

“Um, what do you mean?” Jared asked innocently.

“You know damn well what I mean – he’s been ignoring me all day and acting super weird.”

“I don’t know what you mean, man.” Misha huffed out a sigh of frustration.

“Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll just find out myself.” Misha went to leave the trailer,

“Hey, Misha wait.” Misha stopped and raised a demanding eyebrow. “What- How are you gonna find out?”  Misha gestured helplessly.

“I’m gonna ask him.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s a good idea man.”  
“Why the hell not?!” Jared hesitated,

“Because… Because he’s going through some stuff okay? Personal stuff. He just needs some time. I’ll talk to him.” Jared smiled reassuringly.

“Well, what’s wrong? Is he okay?” Misha came back in, concerned.

“Uh, yeah. He’ll be fine.” Jared nodded. “Just… Don’t tell him I said that, it’s kinda private- hell I’m not even meant to know.” Misha nodded.

“Sure man, of course. I just hope he’s okay.” Jared’s seriousness sobered Misha’s temper as he went back to his own trailer.

That was another thing – Misha had his own trailer now, which he liked, _except_ for the fact it meant Jared and Jensen could prank him more easily. He sat in his trailer, reading his lines and wondering what could possibly be up with Jensen.

 

Jared did talk to Jensen, and Jensen got better at ignoring his feelings towards his crush, so over the next few weeks, Jensen warmed to Misha little by little. It started with the occasional,

“Hey, how are you doing?” And “How’s your wife?” But progressed to them hanging out at weekends and whenever they had breaks – always with Jared, but it was a start.

 

“Okay, see ya man.” Jensen patted Misha on the shoulder and smiled as he walked to his car. They were leaving set after a particularly long and tiring shoot. Misha turned away to find his car, but as he walked he heard Jensen curse,

“What’s wrong?” Misha asked, turning back to him,

“My fucking car’s not starting.”

“Shit. You want a lift?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem.” Jensen followed Misha to his car and got in.

“So, hey – you okay? You’ve been kinda off lately.” Misha said, pulling out of his parking spot.

“What? Oh yeah,” He waved a dismissive hand, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just had some… Stuff, going on.” Misha nodded,

“Well I’m glad you’re okay now.” Misha took his hand off the wheel and patted Jensen’s thigh.

“Thanks man.” They drove for a way in silence before Jensen spoke up,

“You going to the party tomorrow?”

“What party?”

“The huge party Jared’s throwing before we go on break, he didn’t tell you?”

“No, he didn’t tell me. Uh, sure I’ll come. At your place?”

“Yeah man, you better be there.” Misha smiled at the road, though it was dark and no one could see him.

 

The next day Jensen was helping set up he and Jared’s apartment for the party. This involved many, many drinks, twenty pizzas and various snacks.

“Yo, Jensen, what music should I put on?” Jared shouted,

“I dunno man, just find a playlist.” Jensen came into the living room as he was finishing buttoning his shirt.

“Woah, looking fly.” Jared said, seeing Jensen’s shirt and slacks.

“Too much?”

“No, no. Looks good.” Jared hesitated, “Dressed to impress?”

“Yep.” Jensen said, before going back to his room so Jared couldn’t question him anymore.

People started arriving a half hour later, and amongst those people; was Misha. When he came in Jensen clocked him and offered him a drink.

“Uh, sure – I’d love a rum and coke if you have it?”

“Sure, I’ll grab you one.”

 

After all the pizza was eaten and many drinks had been drunk, the party was winding down and Jensen found himself sitting on the couch next to Misha. They were having a conversation about… Something. It didn’t really matter because they wouldn’t remember it in five minutes.

Jensen was leaning back on the couch and smiling, his arm around the back of Misha’s neck. Misha was gesturing enthusiastically with his hands while telling a story. Suddenly he stopped;

“What?” He asked Jensen, smiling at him curiously,

“Nothing. I’m just watching you.” Jensen smiled happily, eyes locking with Misha’s. Neither of them noticed the other inching slowly closer.

“You really shouldn’t you know.” Misha whispered, glancing down, but before Jensen could register what he meant, Misha was leaning forward, softly pressing his lips to Jensen’s. In shock, Jensen didn’t respond – instead froze completely. _Misha was kissing him! Move, goddammit Jensen, move!_ But he didn’t. After only a few seconds Misha pulled away and took in Jensen’s shocked expression. His face fell slightly.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry Jensen. I didn’t mean to- this was totally my fault. I’m- I’m just gonna go.” Misha stood up, grabbing his coat and walking out the door. Jared had been watching the whole exchange, and Jensen was still sitting on the couch, staring in disbelief at the spot Misha had been sitting in.

“Dude!” Jared shouted. “Go after him!” Jensen’s head snapped up to Jared and nodded, sprinting out the door. By the time he got outside the building he saw Misha’s cab driving away. Jensen turned round and put his head in his hands, yelling in frustration. After kicking the wall a few times he went back up to his apartment. He sat down heavily on the couch.

“He get away?” Jared asked, Jensen nodded then groaned, flopping face first into the couch.

“How did you know?” He asked Jared.

“Just a hunch. I’m sorry dude, but you’ll figure it out, I’m sure. Go get some sleep okay?” Jensen nodded and patted Jared on the shoulder.

“Thanks man.” And went to bed.

 

The next day Misha got a phone call from Vicki.

“Hey Vick.” He answered.

“Hey Misha. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine- I’ve got a bit of a story to tell you.” Misha huffed out a humourless laugh.

“Okay, can it wait?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I stopped seeing Dave.”

“What! Why?! I thought you liked him.”

“I do, I do, but I thought I shouldn’t really sleep with him anymore.”

“Why?” Misha asked, confused.

“Because I thought you might not want me to.”

“Why would I want that?” Misha was getting more and more confused.

“Well… We’ve officially started a family now so…” She trailed off and the line went silent.

“You… You mean…”

“Yes Misha.”

“You’re pregnant?” Misha exclaimed,

“Yes.” Vicki laughed.

“Oh my God! _Oh my God!_ We’re gonna have a baby!” Misha laughed in disbelief.

 

Jensen sent a few texts to Misha over the week-long break, none of which were replied to. When finally they went back to work, Jensen was terrified to see Misha, but glad that there was no way for Misha to avoid him _forever._

It wasn’t a coincidence the first time they saw each other however, at midday there was a knock on Jensen’s trailer.

“Come in.” He yelled, and in walked Misha. Jensen went to say something but Misha held up a hand to stop him.

“Look, just let me talk okay?” Jensen nodded. “That was a complete mistake. I’m so sorry I put you in that position but I understand now that that… That was bad. I’m sorry, and if you _can,_ I would love for us to be friends – no awkwardness.” Jensen felt his heart sink and shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. He looked up at Misha’s worried, crystalline eyes, and nodded slowly.

“Okay.” His voice was a little shaky, but he held it together. “Okay, well I’ve gotta go shoot a scene so…” Jensen stood up and pushed past Misha, practically jogging out the door.

 “Um, you’re not scheduled for the rest of the…” Misha trailed off when Jensen couldn’t hear him anymore, left looking confused and crushed in Jensen’s doorway.

“…Day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I suck at summaries. I apologise. You may be able to tell Cockles relationship is coming (Phrasing). Wink, wink. I hope you're enjoying this so far.  
> -B


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning! :)

Misha decided to stay in Jensen’s trailer after he left and wait for him to come back. His car keys were still there so he had to come back at _some_ point.

It got dark before Jensen did come back. Misha was sitting on the couch, reading, when Jensen came back through the door. He was standing, silhouetted by the electric lights outside, swaying slightly. He walked further in,

“Jensen?” Misha asked, wondering if he hadn’t been noticed.

Jensen slowly turned to look at him, a look of concentration on his face. His eyes narrowed,

“ _Misha?_ ” He said, like he couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“Yeah, are you okay man?” Jensen stood, looking around contemplatively. He lurched forward suddenly, but Misha stood up and caught him before he fell over completely.

“ _Woah_ , Jensen. You okay?” He repeated. Now Misha was holding Jensen upright and he could smell the alcohol on the other man’s breath. Jensen stared at Misha for a long time before his face crumpled.

“ _No._ ” He dropped his head onto Misha’s shoulder and started sobbing loudly. Misha looked down, confused.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, “Come on,” Misha led Jensen to the couch and sat him down on it, sitting next to him so he could continue crying on Misha’s shoulder.

“Jen, what is it?”

“You.”  Jensen said it so quietly Misha barely heard him,

“What?”

“ _You._ ” Jensen shouted, pushing Misha off him. He stood up and wiped his eyes with his sleeves.

Misha sat motionless, “ _What?_ ” he repeated, quietly, staring at the man before him.

“It’s you Goddammit Mish.” Misha swallowed, silent. “I’m-“ Jensen sighed, “I’m just going to go.”

Misha’s eyes snapped to Jensen. “ _No,_ wait.”

Jensen huffed in frustration. “Wait for what Mish? Wait for you to say _we need to deal with this – let’s just be friends_? Because… I don’t want to wait for that!” He laughed, exasperated.

Before they knew it, Misha was on his feet, pulling Jensen’s face to his own. Their lips crashed together in a fusion of heat and passion. Jensen reacted this time – hands moving to Misha’s face, one in his hair. It was soft and unfamiliar. His tongue gained dominance, which threw Jensen slightly – he’d never _voluntarily_ made out with another guy before.

Misha pulled away, panting slightly. He looked at Jensen and tipped his head back in relief. This exposed his neck – which Jensen took advantage of – kissing down Misha’s jawline down to his collarbones, eliciting a surprised gasp to be drawn from the other man’s mouth. Jensen’s hands slipped under his friend’s shirt, tugging it up slightly. Misha pulled away and sighed, resting his head against Jensen’s. Jensen tried to kiss him again but Misha pushed him away gently, making Jensen frown in confusion.

“We can’t do this right now.” Misha said reluctantly.

“Why the hell not?!”

“Because you’re drunk as shit Jen.”

Jensen pouted. “Am not.”

Misha laughed, “Yes, you are. Where did you even find Vodka on set?”

“Jared had some.”

“ _Of course_ he did.” Misha smoothed down his shirt. “Come on – let’s get you home.” Misha walked to the door, but Jensen didn’t budge.

“Not without you.” Jensen said, stubbornly. “Come home with me Mish.” His eyes were pleading, and Misha looked back at him sadly,

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Yes it is.”

“No… No it isn’t Jen, because if I come home with you, you know I won’t be able to help myself.” Misha was losing his resolve,

“Please Mish.” Jensen sounded small and helpless. Misha sighed,

“Maybe, okay? We’ll see once we’re there.” This seemed to be acceptable to Jensen, who nodded and followed Misha to his car.

The tension was palpable throughout the car ride – not a word was spoken until they parked.

“We’re here.” Misha stated, eyes fixed on the steering wheel.

“I see that.”  Jensen was looking curiously at Misha.

“I might need help to get into my apartment.” Jensen didn’t sound all that drunk any more, yet Misha replied,

“That’s true, you might.” he reasoned, “And I wouldn’t want you to get locked out.”

“No you wouldn’t.” Jensen replied hopefully.

After a moment Misha got out of the car and Jensen followed him up to his and Jared’s apartment. Misha had picked up the keys so he unlocked the door, letting it swing open while he stood in the hall. After a few minutes of thinking, he sighed and walked inside, letting Jensen in after him. They made their way quietly to the kitchen,

“When did you last eat?” Misha asked, concerned.

“Jared fed me, I’m good.” Jensen reassured, and Misha nodded. “I’m gonna go to bed now.” He added, “You’re welcome to join me.” Jensen said the last part quietly and carefully. He kept his eyes on Misha as he turned around and walked out the door. After a few beats Misha followed.

Jensen stripped down to his boxers and got under the covers, all the while being watched by Misha from the doorway. Once he was sitting in bed, Misha hesitantly walked in and took off his pants; leaving him in a T-Shirt and underwear.

He slipped under the covers beside Jensen, both shimmying down to a lying position. Jensen turned to face Misha, watching him attentively.

“Mish?”

“Yeah Jensen?”

“Why don’t you want this?”

Misha turned to face Jensen, his eyes wide and sad. “I _do_ want this Jen. Trust me, I do – it’s just… You’re really drunk and I don’t know if _you_ really want this.” He sighed. “Are you even into guys?”

Jensen raised an eyebrow, “I want this Mish. I want this more than anything – sober me would say the same. As for other guys? No. I’m not. And it scares the hell outta me, but I want _this._ I’m sure.”

Misha’s face softened. He looked away thoughtfully, and then said, “Jensen?”

“Mm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Before Misha had time to look at Jensen, the other man was on him, lips attacking his mouth. Misha let out a surprised “Mmph!” Before submitting to Jensen. They were a tangle of limbs and tongues and before long were flustered and sweaty. Jensen sat up to take Misha’s shirt off, immediately reattaching their lips once he was stripped to his boxers. Jensen ground down slightly, making Misha moan. He could feel their hard members through the thin fabric.

Suddenly a voice broke their kiss.

“Hey Jensen, can I borrow your car?” Jared’s voice came from right outside Jensen’s room and they both froze. The door handle rattled; indicating Jared was coming in. The men exchanged panicked glanced before Misha shimmied out from under Jensen, who pushed him off the bed with a soft thud – catching a glimpse of his shocked expression before disappearing to the floor. Misha rolled under the bed just as Jared came in. By this time Jensen was under the covers and looking fairly innocent.

“Hey, knock next time!” Jensen said angrily. Jared looked around curiously.

“Did something just fall in here?” He asked, peering into the semi-darkness.

“What!? No, why?” Jensen said, slightly flustered. Jared shrugged,

“Dunno, just though I heard something. Anyway, what’s the point of knocking man, you haven’t got any action in months.” Jared laughed and Jensen scowled, throwing a pillow at the taller man.

“What did you want?” Jensen asked impatiently,

“I wanted to borrow your car – mine’s in the shop and I was gonna go over to Gen’s.” Jensen nodded, then suddenly remembered his car was still on set and panicked.

“Um, no.”

“Why the hell not? I let you borrow mine last week!” Jared sounded hurt.

“It’s um… Misha borrowed it.” Jensen lied,

“But he has his own car…” Jared said, not buying Jensen’s lie.

“Well maybe it broke – how the hell would I know? Sorry dude, you’ll just have to take the bus.” Jensen shrugged apologetically.

Jared sighed, “You’re useless.” He threw the pillow he’d been holding back at Jensen. “Bye.”

“Bye Jared.” Jensen replied. As soon as the door was shut, Jensen rolled to the edge of the bed, peering underneath it.

“ _Mish?_ ” He whispered. “ _You can come out now.”_  Misha huffed in reply,

“ _Ouuuuch._ ” He groaned,

“Oh yeah – sorry about that.” Jensen said sheepishly. Misha’s head appeared from under the bed; glaring at Jensen. He pulled himself the rest of the way out and stood up, crossing his arms.

“I don’t know if I _want_ to sleep with a guy who pushes me off beds.”

“Well then you’d just have to deal with _that_ yourself, I guess.” Jensen said casually, gesturing to the tent in Misha’s boxers. Misha rolled his eyes, getting back into bed next to Jensen.

“These are gonna bruise.” He grumbled, inspecting his elbows and knees.

“Well I think you might’ve had bruised knees anyway…” Jensen trailed off and Misha hit him with a pillow.

“Your sexy talk needs work.” Misha commented, making Jensen laugh.

“I’ll work on it.” At that, Jensen pulled Misha back in to a heated kiss, straddling his hips. Misha moaned passionately, bucking his hips up into Jensen.

“Jen,” said into the kiss, “Have you ever been with another man?” Jensen’s mouth left Misha’s to trail kissed down the other man’s bare chest. He shook his head slightly,

“No. You have?”

“Yeah,” Misha huffed out a laugh. “Just a few.” Jensen looked up and raised an eyebrow.

“Experienced then?” Misha smirked,

“Enough, yeah.” With that, Misha flips them so he’s on top. He smirked devilishly before sucking hot, wet kissed down Jensen’s neck, stopping at his pulse point to draw out the sensation, before moving down his chest, flicking one nipple with his tongue.

Jensen’s panting by the time Misha gets to his hip bones. They form a soft V and Misha seems to find this fascinating – taking his time to examine every inch with his tongue.

“ _Miiiish._ ” Jared whines. Misha looked up, grinning.

“What is it Jen?”

“I _need_ you.”  Jensen looked pleading. Misha smirked,

“Need me to do what?” He asked innocently.

“I need you to fuck me.” Misha didn’t hesitate any longer, pulling Jensen’s erection free from his boxers and licking the shaft. Jensen moaned needily, and Misha teased the head before taking the length in his mouth.

“ _Fuck_ Mish,” Jensen gasped, bucking into Misha’s mouth slightly. Misha refused to move for a few seconds, so Jensen took his head, threading his fingers through his friend’s hair, and pushing him down on his throbbing length. Misha gagged when Jensen’s head hit the back of his throat, but he kept it together, finally drawing back and hollowing his cheeks. After that he set a brutal pace, Jensen guiding his mouth with his hands on Misha’s head, both men groaning, and Misha bucking into the sheets below him for some much needed friction.

Jensen’s hips began to stutter,

“Oh God, Mish I’m gonna cum.” Jensen stopped fucking Misha’s mouth, giving him a chance to pull away, but instead Misha gripped the sides of Jensen’s hips, pulling him up into his mouth, meanwhile working wonders with his mouth. Jensen resumed bucking into Misha’s mouth and after a few thrusts spilled into the other man’s mouth. Misha swallowed and licked his lips seductively after, crawling up to kiss Jensen; who could taste himself on Misha’s tongue. It was weird.

The kiss became heated and Jensen could feel Misha’s hard cock pressed against his hip. He broke away, slightly nervous.

“Mish, I’ve never done this before, I don’t know… How- What…” He trailed off and looked away embarrassed. Misha smiled kindly,

“It’s okay Jen – you don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“But I do _want_ Mish – I want to make you feel good. I just don’t wanna… Do it wrong or something.” He mumbled the last part so Misha barely heard. Misha took Jensen’s face in his hands.

“Whatever you choose to do will make me happy. Just do what you feel comfortable with.” Misha’s words comforted Jensen and they went back to kissing. After not too long Misha started rutting against Jensen – his cock had been left unattended for far too long. Jensen pulled away and Misha froze,

“Sorry, was that not okay?”

“No, no it was. Just… Tell me what to do?”

Misha smiled curiously, “Just do what you would want. Do what feels natural.” Jensen nodded and started kissing Misha’s neck. Suddenly Misha felt a hand wrap around his throbbing member. He moaned loudly and started fucking Jensen’s hand.

“Is that alright?” Jensen asked, unsure.

“That’s great.” Misha panted, brining Jensen’s face up to kiss him. Jensen’s hand was moving now, while Misha was thrusting into him. They were panting and suddenly Misha moved his hand down and thrust once more, coming onto his own hand. He let his head fall back onto the pillow, beads of sweat glistening on his skin. Through heavy breaths he laughed contently.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted that.” He pulled Jensen into his side, grabbing a tissue from the bedside table to clean off his hand.

“ _I_ have no idea how long _you’ve_ wanted that?” Jensen asked incredulously, “What about me?” Misha laughed,

“Let me see… _I’ve_ wanted this for-“ He brought a hand up to count on his fingers, “Five, six, seven – seven months. More or less.” Jensen looked up at Misha,

“Seven months?” Misha nodded, “That’s when you met me.” Misha looked away, embarrassed. “I suppose it hasn’t been much different for me…” Jensen thought for a moment before shaking his head, “Let’s compete about this tomorrow. Tired.” Misha nodded and got comfortable in bed, kissing Jensen sweetly before drifting off to sleep.

 

In the morning, Misha and Jensen were… Mostly clothed, in the kitchen eating toast when the front door opened.

“You fucking liar.” Jared shouted through, Misha and Jensen exchanged concerned glances at Misha’s attire.

“About what?” Jensen called back.

“Your car’s just outside.”

“Oh… Oh yeah! Misha brought it by this morning.” Jensen replied.

“Yeah right.” Jared started walking to the kitchen,

“He did – ask him yourself.” Jared appeared in the doorway, doing a double take when he saw Misha.

“Oh… Hey Misha.” He coughed awkwardly.

“Hey Jared. I really did borrow his car you know.” Jared narrowed his eyes incredulously.

“Did you drive it in your underwear? Because if so I’m not sure I want to go back in there.” Misha looked down, remembering his lack of clothes.

“Oh, no, I just… Spilled some soup on my pants.”

“…We have soup?” Jared asked,

“Uh, no. I bought some, but I ate it. Apart from the stuff I spilled.” Misha nodded, consolidating his lie.

“Right… Where are your pants now?”

“Uh, I put them in my room.” Jensen chimed in,

“Why?” Jared asked, trying not to crack up.

“…I didn’t want… The rest of the apartment to… Smell like soup.” Jensen said solemnly.

“Well I don’t mind the smell of soup.” Jared was having a very hard time not laughing now.

“Yeah, but Misha had really gross kale soup. You wouldn’t have liked it.” Jared just nodded and went to his room, bursting into a fit of laughter as soon as he closed the door.

“Do you think we fooled him?” Jensen asked seriously. Misha raised an eyebrow.

“How much of an idiot do you take him for? No – I don’t think we fooled him Jen.”

Jensen nodded sheepishly. They sat in silence for a while, and Misha noticed Jensen’s face growing more and more concerned.

“What’s up Jen?” Jensen’s head shot up to Misha.

“Nothing.” He said, innocently. Misha looked incredulous.

“Tell me.”

Jensen sighed, sadly. “I just… I’ve never done _this_ before Mish. I’m… I’m not gay- Sorry, I don’t mean that. You know what I mean.” Misha smiled sympathetically.

“I know you’re not gay – you’re attracted to women. Maybe I’m just really feminine.” Misha laughed, cheering Jensen up. “Look, everyone goes through this – it’s normal. Just remember that you’re attracted to me and nothing else really matters.” Misha shrugged.

“True.” He laughed, “I just need to get my Texan upbringing out of my blood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter - I think the start was kinda shitty? But it should improve now I'm writing actual relationship :) Enjoy!  
> -B


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha has to make a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -> Smut warning

Misha kissed Jensen goodbye when he left the apartment. It was new and weird, but it felt unmistakably _right._

“You wanna come to my place tonight?” Misha asked Jensen on the threshold.

“Yeah sure – six work for you?” Jensen – surprisingly – hadn’t been to Misha’s apartment yet.

“Sounds good.”

“Okay, bye.”  
“Bye.”

They were like two teenagers on their first date – awkward and clumsy around each other, but passionate and exhilarated.

Misha tore himself away from the door and walked down to his car.

 

Once he got back to his apartment he cleaned up a little for Jensen, then decided to call Vicki and tell her he finally fucked the “ _pretty boy_ ” - her words... And his. She picked up on the third ring;

“Hey Misha.”

“Hey, how you doing babe?”

“I’m good – not too much morning sickness so far.”

“That’s good, um, I’ve got something to tell you.” Misha suddenly felt nervous,

“Sounds ominous.”

“No, no-it’s not. I just um, slept with Jensen last night.”

“The pretty boy?”

“Yeah.” The line went silent and Misha’s heart rate quickened. “Vicki?” She sighed,

“I thought we were starting a family Misha.” Vicki sounded hurt, and Misha’s eyes widened, _shit._

“We are, honey! I thought you were good with this though?”

“What- _good_ with you fucking a random guy while your wife’s at home, pregnant with your child?”

“He’s not some random guy – Vick, you encouraged this!”

“ _Not while I was pregnant!”_ Vicki’s voice was raised, and Misha sighed in defeat.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t okay with this.”

“I thought we always talked things through beforehand Misha?”

“We do, I just… It was so sudden- I didn’t have time. I _am_ sorry babe.” Misha sounded sincere. After a pause,

“It’s okay. Just don’t do it again.” Misha sighed sadly before composing himself.

“Of course not.”

 

Misha had been pacing around for the last hour, trying to figure out how to tell Jensen. It was going to crush him – hell, it had already crushed Misha and it wasn’t even over yet.

There was a knock at the door and Misha stopped, sighed, and went to answer it.

Jensen had brought flowers.

The damn romantic had brought _flowers,_ and he was blushing slightly behind the door. Although this added to Misha’s guilt, he couldn’t help breaking into a grin.

“What you got there, Jen?”

“I, uh, I brought these for you.” Jensen handed the flowers to Misha. They were roses – he was a traditionalist after all.

“Thank you.” Misha took the flowers and let the other man in.

They ordered Chinese food, and sat on the couch facing each other and talking. It was sweet and innocent. Misha was sitting cross legged, Jensen’s feet in his lap. Jensen was cute when he ate – or at least Misha thought so. Jensen thought the same about him.

The evening wore on and on, and the more time Misha spent sitting across from-his green eyed lover, the less he cared about the fact that he shouldn't be doing this.

At some point they decided to watch a movie, and at some point during the movie Jensen fell asleep on Misha’s chest, and at some point after _that_ , Misha stopped watching the screen, in favour of the beautiful sight below him. Jensen’s eyes were closed and his lips were slightly parted – his chest rising and falling in a soothing rhythm.

Misha sighed and dropped his head on the couch beneath him. His eyes welled with tears when the thought of losing this – losing _Jensen_ – crossed his mind. But at the same time, he had to stop seeing him; for Vicki’s sake.

 Misha turned off the TV. He paused, before gently shaking Jensen. He opened his eyes sleepily.  
“Mish?” He said, looking up at him.

“You fell asleep.” Misha whispered.

“Yeah, I know. Why’d you wake me?” Jensen asked groggily.

“Jensen, can I ask you something?” Misha’s tone was serious now and Jensen sat up – resuming his place opposite Misha.

“Sure, anything.”

“What is this to you?”

“What’s what?” Jensen asked, confused.

“ _This._ You and me. What are we doing?”

Jensen eyes widened in concern. “Bit early for having doubts, no?” He laughed nervously.

“It’s not that, I just need to know.” Misha said quietly.

Jensen nodded and took a breath – thinking. “Well… I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been with a co-worker, or a guy, or someone who’s married.” Jensen huffed out a laugh and Misha cringed inwardly. “I’m just experiencing all this for the first time and it’s… Exhilarating and new and yet it feels so _right._ So what are we doing? We’re being happy. And if being happy mean cuddling on the couch watching a movie, or if being happy means fucking each other senseless… _That’s_ what _I_ want to do. I can’t speak for you, but I love… This. I… Really like you and I’m attracted to you- a lot, and I want _you –_ I want to be with you.” Jensen smiled nervously, staring at his hands.

Misha was sitting quietly at the other side of the couch, a half smile on his face, adoration in his eyes.

He sighed, “ _Fuck._ ” Misha groaned, putting his head in his hands.

Jensen’s face fell, worried and confused. “Why? What do _you_ want?” Jensen asked nervously.

“I want _you._ ” Misha’s eyes were sad and wide. “I want all of you – all the time and I have done for a long time. But I can’t…” Misha trailed off – his voice quiet and tears in his eyes.

Jensen’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why can’t you?”

Misha laughed humourlessly. “ _Because._ ” He spat, “My wife doesn’t want me to, and she’s allowed that, because…” Misha whispered the last part, “She’s pregnant.” Jensen’s eyes went wide,

“Vicki’s pregnant? And she’s not down with this?” Fear was written plainly on his face. Misha nodded morosely, then groaned, sitting up.

“But you know what? I don’t fucking care. I don’t. You know why?” Jensen raised an eyebrow. “Because I fucking love you Jensen.” Misha’s voice cracked through his determination.

“ _What?_ ” Jensen whispered. Misha was staring at the floor, fists clenched with nervousness.

“I love you.” He said quietly. It sounded loud in the silence. 

Jensen let out a shaky laugh. “So... What are we going to do?”

Misha looked around despairingly. “Not tell Vicki.” He said reluctantly, sighing.

Jensen nodded slowly. “If you’re sure.” Misha met his gaze, eyes glassy.

“I’m really not.”

 

Jensen didn’t stay over that night. He insisted on giving Misha time to think, and not make stupid decisions. But the more Misha thought about it, the more he was sure. Jensen made him happy, and so did Vicki – but he needed this. He needed _Jensen._

 

Once they were back at work Misha immediately started looking for Jensen – he found him in the second place he looked – Jared’s trailer. He came in without knocking.

“Oh, hey Misha.” Jared was on the couch next to Jensen.

“Hey Jared. Um, Jensen can I talk to you?” Jensen nodded and looked at Jared, who was sitting there oblivious, drinking his coffee.

“Jared?” Jensen asked.

“Mm?” Jared looked up at him.

“Do you mind?” Jared looked between the two, before shrugging.

“Sure, whatever. Just clean up once you’re done.” He walked to the door while Misha and Jensen exchanged a panicked glance.

“What?!” They asked, in unison.

“It’s called a _joke._ Y’all should try one out some time.” Jared chuckled, walking out the door. Misha and Jensen breathed a sigh of relief before Jensen spoke.

“You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” Misha sat down next to Jensen. “I thought about it – like you wanted me to.”

“And?”

“And I choose this.” He gestured between them. Jensen nodded solemnly, before leaning over to kiss Misha. He tasted like tea and mint gum, and it was different to before – just a little bit naughty; forbidden, and a whole lot sexy.

The kiss deepened and Jensen’s hands roamed over Misha – taking in every inch. Misha pushed Jensen onto his back, grinning devilishly.

“How much time we got?” He asked, slightly breathless.

“Enough.” Jensen replied, pulling Misha down to meet his lips.

Misha shrugged off his coat and pulled his shirt over his head, leaving Jensen to marvel at his toned chest. He flexed unintentionally, making Jensen lick his lips and Misha smirked above him.

“Your turn.” Without hesitation Jensen stripped off his shirt and pants, leaving him in only his boxers. Misha got off Jensen's lap and kneeled before him, not breaking eye contact as he stroked the other man’s hard length through the fabric.

Jensen let out a strangled moan, spurring Misha to free Jensen’s cock from his underwear – giving it a slow stroke before spreading the precum over the head.

“ _Miiiish._ ” Jensen whined, rolling his head back. Misha grinned and licked a strip up Jensen’s cock, teasingly slowly. He then took in the whole length, barely gagging when the head hit his throat.

“Oh God Mish,” Jensen groaned, eyes closed in bliss.

Jared opened the door to his trailer, blushing profusely when he saw the sight before him. Both men were too engrossed in their activities to notice Jared close the door carefully behind him and roll his eyes, hoping they didn’t mess up his cushions. _Man_ \- he was gonna have fun fucking with them about this.

“Misha, I’m gonna-” Misha pulled off with an obscene _pop._ Jensen whined at the loss before the noise was lost in Misha’s mouth. Misha’s hand moved to his own forgotten cock, pulling it free from his pants and stroking the length slowly but purposefully.

Jensen glanced down, taking his own cock in his hand, sighing in relief at the friction. They got lost in each other’s mouths again, Misha climbing onto Jensen; grinding against him while stroking himself.

Soon they were both panting and sweaty – close to their release. Jensen came first – gasping and juddering, onto both he and Misha’s hands. The motion made Misha reach his own climax; biting down on Jensen’s shoulder to stifle a moan.

Misha climbed off Jensen, lying, chest heaving, lips parted, and hair sex-mussed. Jensen looked much the same. After coming back to reality they got dressed – slightly embarrassed at doing that in Jared’s trailer. They washed up in the bathroom, before sitting back on the couch.

“So, you’re sure?” Jensen asked,

Misha rolled his eyes. “Yes I’m sure. That didn’t feel like sure to you? 'Cos it felt sure to me.” Misha chuckled and Jensen’s face relaxed. He nodded.

“Okay, well, I should probably go find Jared – we wouldn’t want him _thinking_ anything. Right?”

“Right.” Jensen got up and left the trailer - Misha following not long after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you guys think Jensen's no homo moments are OC, I just have no idea how to write Straight™ sexuality freakouts.  
> And again, no hate at all to Vicki or Misha, they are so lovely and cute together and I genuinely feel bad writing this at times, but it's what I made the story so... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Enjoy!  
> -B


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a few days - I've been kinda busy. Anyway, smut warning, and hope y'all enjoy!  
> -B

Jensen was lying across Misha’s chest – relishing the peace. The morning sun streamed through the window and cascaded across the sleeping man’s bare torso. It was surprisingly _easy –_ like they’d been doing it their whole lives, yet it was so new.

This was their first break from shooting since they got together. They had a week - a week of lazy kisses and sleeping in. It was Jensen’s heaven.

 A strong arm pulled him into Misha’s side.

“Mornin’.” Jensen said,

“Mm.” Misha grumbled – the noise reverberating through his chest. Jensen looked up at his peaceful, content face.

“You look so beautiful in the morning.” Jensen said, as if he was admiring a fine piece of art.

“I do all the time, but thanks.” Misha replied, smirking. He sighed, kissing Jensen’s forehead, before throwing off the covers.

“Hey!” Jensen whined at the loss. Misha scrambled out of bed and stuck out his tongue.

“Hungry.” He said, wandering totally naked, out of the room.

“Wait up.” Jensen grumbled, following suite, but pulling on some sweatpants on the way. Misha frowned when he saw him.

“That’s unfair.” He pouted innocently, pawing at the other mans’ pants.

“Hey,” Jensen giggled, batted Misha off. “Not everyone wanders around in their birthday suit man.” Misha shrugged, turning away and walking to the couch. He picked up a throw blanket and wrapped it around himself like a toga.

“Fine – we’ll do it your way.” He sauntered to the kitchen, picking out some cereal and a bowl. Jensen followed silently, tiptoeing up behind his friend. His mouth hovered fractions away from Misha’s ear.

“Nuh, uh.” He whispered, pulling the coverings off the other man. Misha yelped in surprise, trying to cover up before giving up and chasing after Jensen – trying to get the blanket back.

He finally wrestled Jensen onto the couch, panting and laughing. Misha was on top, grinning happily.

“You still want that?” Jensen gestured at the blanket – now on the floor. Misha shook his head slowly, raising an eyebrow. He shifted slightly so his thigh was between Jensen’s legs. The other man’s eyes widened ever so slightly and his breath hitched. After grinding down a few times, Misha held his hips up off the other man; giving him a challenging stare. Jensen’s breath was laboured and his eyes were dark, but he remained still.

Misha swallowed thickly, glancing down at Jensen’s lips. They could both feel the others’ erections through Jensen’s pants. They both held out for a few more moments before Misha gave in and dipped his head to Jensen’s throat – kissing and sucking, making the man below him groan. Jensen’s hands found Misha’s hair, fingers threading through it.

“Mish… Need you.” Jensen panted, with a buck of his hips. Misha pulled away, looking up at Jensen’s face.

“What do you want to do Jen?” Jensen’s heartrate quickened. He and Misha had only gone as far as blowjobs – and both would be happy with whatever the other could give them – but that didn’t mean Jensen wasn’t _curious;_ that he hadn’t fantasised.

“Um,” Jensen began, licking his lips.

“We can do whatever you’re comfortable with.” Misha replied comfortingly, sensing Jensen’s uncertainty.

“Well, I don’t think I’m ready for… _You._ ” Jensen stated, Misha nodding in understanding.

“And… The other way?” He asked, cautiously. Jensen swallowed nervously, then nodded. “You sure?” Misha asked.

“Yeah. Just… Show me what to do.”

 

“Dude, do you just keep lube in every room of the house?” Misha nodded sheepishly.

“Pretty much.” Jensen gave him a judgemental look, “What? It pays to be prepared.” Misha defended. Jensen shrugged and nodded in agreement. “So, um, do you want me to… Prepare _myself_?” Misha asked cautiously, lube in hand.

“Uh, yeah please.” Jensen flushed slightly in embarrassment at his inexperience.

“Okay well get that pretty mouth over here and kiss me.” Misha teased, stroking himself slowly. Jensen moved to kiss the other man, heated and deep. Misha groaned into his mouth. After a while Jensen felt his friend start to rock under him. He broke the kiss; Misha’s eyelids were hooded and his mouth was parted. When Jensen glanced down he noticed Misha was three fingers deep, tugging at his throbbing member. Jensen gasped at the sight, reaching down to stroke himself.

“You ready?” He asked, Misha nodded in reply, removing the hand around his cock and using it to push Jensen onto his back. Jensen stared up in awe at the other man, apprehension ebbing away.

 Misha straddled Jensen, slicking up his cock before giving the man below a questioning look. He nodded, and Misha guided Jensen’s hard cock to his entrance. Misha let out a low hiss when the tip breached him, Jensen gasped and rolled his head back at the feeling. Misha took a breath and sank down the rest of the way, closing his eyes and pausing to acclimatise himself. After a few moments Jensen managed to huff, “You good?”

Misha groaned in reply, “Better.” He stared slowly moving up and down, Jensen’s green eyes snapping open in shocked pleasure. This was different to anything he’d ever felt before – and maybe even _better._

“Ohhh _God Mish._ ” He groaned, making Misha chuckle darkly, taking his own cock in his hand. The pace quickened and soon both men were sweaty and gasping. Misha suddenly shuddered and collapsed forward onto the other man, groaning while he spilled himself onto both men’s’ chests.

He tightened around Jensen, causing Jensen to grunt and come, hot and thick into Misha; whose eyebrows raised at the feeling, but was still too out of it to respond properly. Misha winced, sitting up and pulling off the other man. He was going to be sore tomorrow.

Misha lay half across Jensen, recovering.

“Wow.” Jensen panted.

“Yeah.” Misha chuckled breathily. They lay, content for a few minutes before Jensen spoke up, quietly.

“And thanks for being so… Understanding man. I mean it’s practically second nature to you – you’ve done it all before.” Misha shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, actually… Not _everything._ ”

“Huh?” Jensen asked, not understanding.

“Well, that was the first time I’ve done… _That._ ”

“What?!” Jensen sat up, almost knocking Misha onto the floor.

“Yeah, I’ve never bottomed before.” He looked up apprehensively.

“So… But I… I thought…” Misha grinned and chuckled.

“Jen, learn to finish your sentences, ‘till then I’ll be in the kitchen.” Misha stood up, shifting awkwardly when he stood.

“Fuck.” He muttered, tentatively touching his ass. Jensen barely contained his giggle, resulting in a glare from the other man. Misha walked away, slightly awkwardly, and was halfway to the bedroom when Jensen’s voice stopped him.

“Wait, Mish! This is… Big, isn’t it? If I knew it was your first time I would’ve…” He trailed off.

“Would’ve what, Jen?” Misha chuckled, “Make your dick smaller?” He laughed. “You did nothing wrong. It was perfect.” Misha walked back over to kiss Jensen reassuringly.

“You’re sure?” Jensen asked, still concerned.

“Sure.”

 

They ate breakfast and got dressed – even though Jensen wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

“Let’s go!” Misha said, suddenly breaking their peaceful silence.

“What? Go where?”

“I dunno.” Misha shrugged. “The park.”

“The park?” Jensen asked incredulously.

“Yeah. I don’t like being _cooped up_ all day.”

“I should’ve guessed you were that type.” Jensen muttered, before standing. “Alright then. You lead the way.”

The park was only a few blocks away, but as they rounded the last corner, they saw a familiar figure coming towards them. Jensen quickly pulled Misha behind a wall, covering his mouth. Misha gave him a confused, slightly annoyed look, before detaching himself from Jensen’s grip.

“What was that for?” He hissed angrily. Jensen peered around the corner, before turning back.

“Jared.” He whispered, pointing round the corner.

“…And?” Misha asked, hopelessly confused. Jensen huffed in frustration, like it should be obvious.

“ _And,_ I told him I was going to Texas this week – that’s why I wouldn’t be home at all.”

“That seems unnecessarily complicated.” Misha replied, in a normal register. Just then a long haired head peered around the corner at them – his eyebrows tented. He looked almost as confused as Misha had.

“…Hey guys?”

“Oh, uh, hey man.” Jensen coughed awkwardly. Misha smiled,

“Hey Jared.”

“So, uh, why are you guys hiding behind a building?” Jared whispered, as if they were actually undercover. Misha looked at Jensen, waiting for him to make up an excuse. Instead, he looked hopelessly between Misha and Jared.

“Maybe… Maybe we should just tell him.” Jensen whispered to Misha, although Jared probably heard him. Misha raised an eyebrow, giving him a warning look.

“You sure? And not just for your sake.” Jensen nodded.

“Come on man, I trust him with my life.” Misha shrugged, nodding. Jensen turned back to Jared, “We, uh, we got some stuff to tell you man.”

 

The three of them were sitting in a diner, Misha with a green tea, Jensen with a coffee and Jared sipping a ridiculously colourful, strawberry milkshake.

“So,” The taller man started, “You two,” He gestured between them, pausing to sip his milkshake. “You two are fucking?” Jensen flushed crimson.

“Basically yeah.” Misha replied, receiving an icy glare from Jensen.

“But you can’t mention it to _anyone._ Got it?” Jensen asked, seriously.

“ ‘Course man.” Jared said, before smirking. “I am gonna have so much fun fucking with you two.” He laughed, leaning back. Jensen looked annoyed, but was secretly glad – this meant Jared was cool with it. “There was also the fact – I _did_ already know.” Jensen’s head shot to Misha, who’s hands raised in innocence. “It wasn’t him dude – it’s kinda obvious.”

“What?!” Jensen exclaimed, “How?”

“Well, I _suspected_ you liked him when you asked me about that _girl_ a while back, then you guys did kiss that one time.” He paused, “Oh yeah and I also walked in on you guys sucking each other off- in _my_ trailer, may I add.” He raised an accusing finger at Jensen’s beet red face. Misha just looked vaguely surprised,

“Oh.” Jensen said. “So you knew?”

“Yeah man, I also knew you weren’t going to Texas this week. But y’know y’all could’ve just told me. It’s cool.”

“I know. Thanks man.” Jared nodded, finishing his milkshake. Jensen reached for Misha’s hand under the table, holding it out of sight of anyone but the safety of their little booth.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha and Jensen attend a convention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight smut warning :)

“You’re sure?” Jensen paused, nodding before he hung up the phone. Jared was sitting next to him on the flight.

“What was that?” He asked, offering Jensen a jellybean. Jensen shook his head.

“Hotel messed up our bookings. We’ve got two rooms between three of us.” He sighed. “Guess we’re bunking up man.” He patted Jared on the shoulder, who raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, maybe this is a dumb question – but why can’t you share with your _boyfriend_.” Jared whispered the last word and pointed at the seats behind them; where a sleeping Misha was drooling on his makeshift pillow. Jensen still blushed.

“What if someone notices?” He hissed, Jared rolled his eyes,

“Dude – who the hell’s gonna notice? And even if they _did_ – it’s not gonna look any different to us sharing a room.” Jensen scrunched up his face,

“Don’t say that man.” He thought for a moment, glancing back at Misha before he shrugged, “I guess – but if anyone notices, _you’re_ covering for us.”

“How the hell am I meant to cover for you guys?”

“Let’s hope you don’t have to figure that out.”

 

Misha unlocked the door – dumping his bags on the double bed. The room was decent, and it had a large window on looking the Roman skyline.

Jensen let out a low whistle, squinting at the setting sun. Misha came up beside him, wrapping an arm around the other man’s waist.

“The sunsets here are always fantastic.” Misha mused. Jensen hummed in agreement.

“We should go to a beach while we’re here.”

“That _would_ be nice, but we’d get mobbed.” Misha chuckled. “But we could go when we’re back home.”

“You promise?” Jensen pouted,

“Pinky swear.” Misha replied, face serious. 

 

Later, they were fed and showered – supposedly watching a movie; but neither of them would’ve been able to say what it was. Misha was on top of Jensen, lost in his mouth – they’re bodies entangled. It was pretty vanilla – both were fully clothed, but it was clearly headed somewhere with less clothes.

 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Hey guys, you in there?” Jared’s voice called through.

“Why is it _always him_?” Misha muttered to Jensen,

“I dunno - it must be karma for that time I didn’t let him use my car.” Jensen laughed, squirming out from under Misha and opening the door. “Hey man. What’s up?” He greeted Jared, while Misha fixed his mussed up hair.

“Hey, you guys mind if I hang out in here for a bit? The people next door are _loud_.” Jared walked in and flopped down across from Misha on the couch. Misha glanced past Jared at Jensen, slightly annoyed.

“Sure man, just come in.” Jensen said sarcastically.

“Pfft, why would you guys mind…” He trailed off; taking in Jensen’s ruffled appearance for the first time. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Ah. Right. Well, I could go find Mark… Or something.” Jensen sighed.

“Well you’re here now.” He shut the door and came to sit between the two men.

“Okay. So, what we watching?”

 

That night Jared left late – they were all jetlagged from the flight, but Jared was still hyper from the candy he’d been snacking on all day.

“See ya tomorrow man.” Jensen said tiredly – shutting the door. He sighed, “Finally.”

Misha was dozing off on couch, so Jensen went over and nudged him gently.

“ _Mish,_ ” He whispered. “He’s gone; we can sleep.”

“ _Wha-_ “ Misha slurred sleepily.

“I said, Jared’s gone.” Jensen chuckled, “Come on.” He picked Misha up – bridal style – making the other man yelp in tired surprise.

“I could’ve walked.” Misha mumbled, leaning into Jensen’s hold.

“I know Mish. I know.” Jensen set his friend down on the bed – but when he went to stand, he found Misha had wrapped his arms around Jensen’s head and wasn’t letting go.

“Misha! I need to put you down.”

“No.” Misha replied indignantly. “You’re comfy.” Jensen tried half-heartedly to escape, but soon his exhaustion kicked in and he rolled over Misha, curling into his side.

“We’re not even under the covers Mish.” He whispered with his eyes closed – already giving in to sleep.

 

“This is going to be impossible.” Misha sighed as he pushed himself away from Jensen.

“I’m starting to regret making that rule too.” Jensen groaned. They had decided that outside of their hotel room, they had to be totally platonic. Not even a hug for the rest of the day – however they were already running five minutes late for their photo op because neither of them could keep their hands to themselves.

“Guys, hurry the fuck up, we’re late!” Jared’s voice boomed from the other side of the door, startling them.

“Coming.” Jensen kissed Misha once more and took a breath. “Into battle.” He muttered, opening the door.

They had to sprint along the corridor, so they wouldn’t get yelled at by the staff too much. They arrived at the elevator sweaty and out of breath.

“They are gonna be so pissed.” Jared panted. “And I’m blaming you guys. How the hell do y’all even manage to _be_ this late?” Jensen and Misha exchanged a glance. “ _Aww_ , come on. _Really?_ I don’t wanna know.” Jared made a face and Jensen rolled his eyes.

“It wasn’t _that_. We’re just not looking forward to a day of _innocent friendship_.” Misha huffed. Jared nodded in understanding.

“To be fair – you guys didn’t exactly keep it to “innocent friendship” before all this.”

“Hey!” Jensen hit Jared on the shoulder. “Yeah we did.”

“Whatever you say.” Jared laughed.

 

The rest of the day was as torturous as they’d imagined – especially since the only time they saw each other at all was the photo op in the morning.

Jensen was temperamental and sexually frustrated when he finally got back to he and Misha’s hotel room at nine that night.

“Mish?” He called, unlocking the door and coming in.

“Hey Jensen. Come say hi to Vicki.” Misha’s eyes were apologetic as they met Jensen’s. He was on the couch, Skyping with his wife.

“Oh, uh, hey Vicki.” Jensen sat down, leaving an unbearable space between him and the other man.

“Hey Jensen, it’s great to finally meet you!” Vicki said warmly. “Misha explained about you guys having to share a room. That sucks.”

“Uh, yeah. But hey, what can you do?” Jensen shrugged. “I’ll give you guys some space. I’ll be in Jared’s room.” Jensen said, standing up.

“Oh, okay.” Misha said, sadly.

“Well it was nice meeting you.” Vicki chirped from the computer screen. Jensen waved awkwardly and left the room. When he was out of earshot he stopped and let his head fall against the wall. He groaned – he had practically forgotten about Misha’s _wife,_ and now all the guilt and shame was flooding into his mind. _She seemed so genuinely lovely - and perfect for Misha – why was he fucking this up for them?_

His thoughts were interrupted by Jared’s head poking out of a door nearby.

“Jensen? You okay?” Jared asked, concerned.

“I’m fine.” Jensen composed himself and forced a smile. “Just tired – and Misha’s Skyping Vicki in our room.”

“Oh.” Jared nodded in understanding. “Want to come in here?”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

 

Jensen fell asleep in Jared’s room – although Misha did come and knock on the door sometime past midnight – he guessed they were already asleep and walked dolefully back to his room.

It had been a few weeks since he’d talked to his wife, so they had a lot to catch up on. The pregnancy was going fine, and all was well and good back home. Once Vicki had told what she had to tell, Misha realised he really didn’t have much news that didn’t involve Jensen. He ended up talking mostly about what was happening with Castiel on Supernatural, which Vicki probably found very boring – but nodded along politely all the same.

 

For the rest of the convention, Misha and Jensen somehow found themselves having absolutely no time alone together.

This was why, at one in the morning on Monday, the two men were irritable and gloomy, waiting to board their flight.

“Jeez, what’s you guys’ problem?” Jared asked after getting glared at by both pairs of eyes for making a joke.

“Nothing.” They replied in unison.

“Fine, don’t tell me.” Jared replied huffily, going back to his phone.  

 

This time they were in a row of three, Jensen nearest the window, with Misha in between him and Jared.

An hour into the flight Jared was out cold and Jensen was staring complacently out the window. Misha was bored, so he glanced at Jared before placing his hand on his friend’s leg.

Jensen flinched in surprise before warming to Misha’s touch. They sat like that for a few minutes before Misha slowly started to slide his hand up Jensen’s thigh.

Jensen’s eyes widened, but he continued to stare out the window – cheeks flushing slightly as Misha got closer to his goal. All of a sudden he cupped Jensen through his pants, who gasped, turning to Misha.

“We can’t do this here!” He hissed.

“I don’t see why not – the plane’s practically deserted and the big guy isn’t gonna bother us anytime soon.” Misha raised a challenging eyebrow, making Jensen’s loins stir.

“ _Mish._ ” Jensen warned, however instead Misha started to palm the other man’s cock. Jensen moaned quietly – Misha’s mouth moving to his to quiet him.

“Shh.” Misha hushed, laying a blanket over Jensen’s lap and unbuckling his belt.

“ _Are we actually doing this?_ ” Jensen whispered, slightly giddy. Misha smirked, freeing Jensen’s cock from his pants and giving it a slow stroke. Jensen bit his lip, hard, to stop himself moaning.

Jensen came undone fast at Misha’s touch. Soon he was thrusting slightly into Misha’s hand. He didn’t manage to stifle his moan as he came into Misha’s fingers, who looked at Jared to make sure he was still asleep – he was. Misha tucked Jensen back into his pants and removed his hand, cringing at the mess. He found some tissues in his bag and cleaned himself off before turning his attention back to Jensen. He had fallen asleep – blissed out from his orgasm. Misha smiled – glad they had _some_ time together before they returned to the chaos of filming.

 

Misha went home with Jensen and Jared – too tired to sort his stuff from Jensen’s. They flopped down on his bed, fully clothed.

“Ughhh.” Misha groaned. “ _So tired._ ”

Jensen grunted in reply. They lay for a few moments then Jensen rolled to face the other man.

“Mish?”

“Uh huh?”

“You should move in.”  There was silence, then

“What?”

“Move in. You’re here, or I'm there all the time anyway. It’d be convenient.” Jensen mumbled into the bedsheets.

“You’re serious.” Misha stated. “What would I tell Vicki?” Jensen sighed,

“Well – we have a spare room. Just tell her you moved in there.”

“Huh. That could actually work.”

“Is that a yes?” Jensen asked hopefully.

“Yes.”  Misha said, flopping an arm over Jensen, who smiled happily, before being peppered in soft kisses.

“Sleeeeep.” Jensen groaned, pushing away Misha’s loving attack - though they migrated back into each other’s’ arms during the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are liking this, I'd love to hear your feedback. Enjoy!  
> -B


	9. Nine

****“Jared! Please be careful with…” Misha trailed off as he watched the tall man crashed into the doorframe with a box of Misha’s stuff. “…Never mind.” He sighed.

“Sorry!” Jared called once he’d made it to Misha’s room. “How much stuff do you _have_?” He asked, walking back through and pushing his hair out of his sweat-sheened face. Misha shrugged, but before he could answer they heard a yell from outside the apartment.

“Fuck!” Jensen shouted, just as the other two reached him. “Why do we even need this man? We have a CD player.” Jensen frowned, rubbing the arm he’d bashed while transporting Misha’s bulky turntable.

“Hey! Careful with that – it‘s vintage… Probably.” Misha rushed over just as Jensen was about to drop it.

The moving-in process had been pretty quick after Jensen had made sure Jared was cool with it. Misha still had a month or so left on his lease, but they’d decided to move all his stuff within the week.

Jensen flopped onto the couch.

“I’m gonna order a pizza – what d’you guys want?”

“Uh, pepperoni.” Jared replied,

“Pear.” Misha sat down next to Jensen – who stared at him.

“What?” He asked,

“Pear please.” Misha replied casually. Jensen raised an eyebrow.

“You’re serious aren’t you?” Misha shrugged.

“Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it.”

“No way am I trying that man.” Jensen laughed, going to call the pizza place.

 

At some point, somebody (it was probably Jared) decided to start drinking wine.

This was why Jared was giggling while Misha was biting a segment of pear between his front teeth – trying to make Jensen try some.

“C’mon,” Misha slurred past the fruit. Jensen giggled,

“Only ‘cause it’s you.” He leant forward and took the pear in his teeth, staying with his lips to Misha’s for a fraction longer than needed. He pulled back and chewed – it tasted like pear, but with a hint of Misha, so it was Jensen’s new favourite. He swallowed,

“Not bad.” He conceded, nodding.

“I told you so!” Misha exclaimed in victory.

“But I like how _you_ taste better.” Jensen added, making Misha flush.

“Oh really?”  Jensen nodded and smiled, leaning in. The kiss was tentative and shallow to begin with, but soon turned hot, resulting in Misha pushing Jensen back to crawl on top of him.

“Uh, guys?” Jared said quietly from his seat a few feet away.

“Yeah?” Misha didn’t turn to look at him.

“Oh you’re just gonna… Oh okay then.” Jared cleared his throat awkwardly and stared at his lap. Misha chuckled darkly.

“I think we’re making him uncomfortable.” Jensen gazed up at him, transfixed with Misha’s dishevelled beauty.

“Uh huh,” He said, not really paying attention, and instead pulling Misha’s face back to his own to entangle their clumsy tongues.

Jared left the mass of moving bodies at some point to go back to his room, but the couple stayed, lost in each other’s taste and feel for what felt like hours.

They fell asleep like that – regretting it in the morning when they woke up to stiff necks and crackly bones; except that neither one of them _really_ minded that small forfeit for a night in each other’s arms.

Jared came in, yawning.

“Did y’all sleep like that?” He asked, making himself some coffee. Jensen nodded,

“Never again.” His voice was gruff with sleep and last-night’s alcohol.

“Yeah right.” Jared mumbled, “Hey Misha, you want any coffee?”

“No thanks. I’ll have some tea though.”

“Uh, I don’t think we have any.”   
“That’s okay; I brought my own.” Misha disappeared into him and Jensen’s room, returning with a box of tea bags.

 Jensen frowned, “Why’d you bring _tea_?” He asked.

Misha shrugged, “It’s the only kind I like.” Jensen shot him a judgemental look, but took a mental note to buy some the next time he went to the store.

 

 The firepit crackled and spat embers into the cool, moonlit air. Misha, Jensen, Jared, Rich and Rob were sprawled around it on deck chairs – tired drinks in hands and wearing contented, sleepy smiles.

“Okay, okay. My go.” Rob said, breaking the silence.

They were in the middle of an intermittent game of truth or dare. “Misha – truth or dare?” He drew out the vowels.

“Mm, dare.”

“I dare you to kiss one of us guys.” Rob giggled like a schoolchild – Jensen guessed that he and Rob had consumed more than alcohol to get their buzz.

“M’kay.” Misha stood up and staggered to Jensen, sitting on his lap and draping an arm around his shoulders. Jensen was half asleep and barely registered the other man sitting on him; reciprocating the lazy kiss without thinking.

Rich whistled loudly when they broke apart,

“Talk about chemistry – you’d think the writers made Destiel cannon!” Rich laughed loudly at his own joke – slapping his thigh. Misha smiled and settled on Jensen’s lap, interlocking their hands.

“My go.” Misha started, “Jared, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Misha thought for a moment, before grinning devilishly.

“You’ve gotta give your phone to one of us and let us text whoever we want.” Jared groaned dramatically,

“I changed my mind – truth.”

“No backing out – you know the penalty.” The penalty was streaking through Rich’s neighbourhood, shouting something obscene. Jared sighed, handing his unlocked phone to Rob; who he decided could do the least harm.

Rob typed something, grinned wickedly and handed the phone back. Jared searched furiously for what he’d written,

“Nuh uh.” Rob said, giggling. “I deleted it from your phone.” He laughed,

“Oh _come on._ ” Jared groaned, “At least tell me who you texted!” Rob thought for a moment, before taking pity.

“Gen.” Jared’s eyes widened,

“You didn’t! What did you say?!” Jared was out of his seat and approaching Rob threateningly – who quickly scrambled out of his chair and ran screaming, being chased by the 6’4 drunk giant. It was comical, but Misha and Jensen weren’t watching that. They were engrossed in each other’s eyes, smiling gently as they held hands.

“I love you Mish.” Jensen mumbled, kissing Misha chastely. Misha’s eyes widened,

“I love you too Jen,” He whispered reverently. Soon they were lost in each other’s mouths and limbs, unaware; or perhaps simply uncaring of the confused scrutiny of Rich.

Jared and Rob were wrestling in fits of giggles on the grass now, so Rich got up to walk over to them.

“Hey, uh, guys?” He asked when he was close enough.

“Y- yeah?” Jared asked, broken by laughter.   
“Uh, what’s _their_ deal?” Rich asked, pointing to the couple, practically humping on the deck chair on the patio. Jared stopped laughing abruptly and sat up.

“I, uh, I dunno.” He said, unconvincingly.

“Dude – you’re a terrible liar.” Rob said from underneath him. Jared swallowed nervously.

“I can’t say.” He said seriously, walking back over to the fire. He cleared his throat loudly next to Misha and Jensen, getting their attention.

“Uh, guys…” He said, tilting his head towards Rich and Rob, watching from the sidelines. Jensen flushed when he saw them, pushing Misha to the ground.

“Ow! Fuck, Jensen.” Misha grumbled.   
“We should go.” Jensen said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Okay, sure man. What are you gonna tell them?” Jared asked,

“That we got carried away – that it was a one-time thing.” Jensen replied, standing up unsteadily. Misha was inspecting his elbows and muttering about being pushed off things.

“We’re uh, we’re gonna go.” Jensen called over to Rich and Rob, waving slightly.

“Okay…” Rob replied, hesitantly. “Well, g’night.”

The trio called a cab and rode back to the apartment in silence. Jensen was scared and unsure, but to Jared it came off as angry, and to Misha; ashamed. This made Misha angry and Jared standoffish, which meant the rest of the night was spent separate and quiet.

 

“Why did you act like that?” Misha asked, bluntly, the next morning.

“Look, I know it seemed like I was… Embarrassed, or some shit – but I wasn’t. I mean, you’re married, dude! And I just don’t know how other people would react to _this.”_ He gestured between them. Misha visibly softened and nodded.

“Ah, good point.” He thought for a moment before adding, “And I am sorry I put you in that position. You didn’t know what you were doing.” He mumbled.

“Hey, it’s okay – we were both pretty out of it.” Jensen smiled kindly.

“Hey Jensen?”

“Yeah Mish?”

“I love you.” Jensen grinned,

“Love you too Mish.”

 


	10. Ten

It was domestic bliss. It was secret and hidden bliss; but that made it special – like it was just for them.

They were noticeably more at ease around set, and Jared often mimed gagging at their sickly-sweet happiness.

They still felt guilty; going behind Vicki’s back – especially Misha, but he was so in love with this green-eyed perfection that it seemed worth it.

 

They were driving back to their apartment after a day at work, when Jensen stated suddenly,

“I’m going to take you on a date.” 

“What?” Misha laughed.

“ _I_ am going to take _you_ on a _date._ ” 

“Okay then, where are you going to take me?” Misha humoured the other man.

“We're gonna go to a fancy restaurant; so dress nice.”

“Okay, whatever you say Jen.”

 

Misha’s idea of _dressing nice_ was apparently jeans and a slightly crumpled shirt. Jensen sighed when he saw him.

“Wait there,” He said, disappearing back into their bedroom. He came out a moment later with an expensive looking tie. “Here.” He said, fastening it around Misha’s neck with an adorable look of concentration on his face.

“You do know I can tie a tie.” Misha said, trying not to smile at the gesture.

“That’s questionable, after seeing what you deem _dressing nice_.” Jensen finished tying the tie and smoothed down his shirt.

Misha gave a mock offended look. “ _This_ is my finest suit, good sir.” He said, following Jensen out to the car.

“Well, I’ll have to go clothes shopping with you then.” Jensen chuckled; opening the door chivalrously for Misha.

 

The restaurant _was_ fancy, and Misha looked rather out of place. Not that he cared – although Jensen seemed a little embarrassed when the maitre d gave him an annoyed stare.

They ordered, and Jensen asked for a candle for the table.

“How romantic.” Misha joked, though he thought the gesture was sweet.

The meal was delicious; Jensen ordered a steak and Misha some sort of pasta dish. Their feet tangled under the table. Assisted by the wine-haze Misha found his foot sliding up Jensen’s leg, making him wriggle in his seat, and turn a light shade of pink.

“So.” Misha stared, staring across the table at Jensen. “Do we go home after this?”  
“Uh, yeah. Unless you had something else in mind?”

“No, I _definitely_ want to go home.” Misha drawled, placing his foot between Jensen’s thighs.

Jensen coughed and glanced around the room. “We could probably go without dessert right?” He asked, his voice pitched a little higher than normal.”  
“Jen,” Misha cooed, “Don’t you want a chocolate mousse? Or some ice cream maybe…” he stalled and Jensen glared at him, waving the waiter over.

They payed and hurried back to the car. When they were safely on the road, Misha placed his hand lightly on Jensen’s thigh, moving higher as they drove. When they came to a red light, he cupped the other man through his pants, making him choke out a moan and close his eyes; resting his head on the seat.  
“ _Mish,_ ” He groaned. “You’re gonna cause an accident.”

“You’re right.” Misha stated, removing his hand. Jensen whined at the loss,

“I didn’t mean _stop._ ”

Misha smirked. “You’ll have to wait – I don’t want to cause an injury.” He looked out the window, avoiding Jensen’s pleading eyes. The light turned green and the car sped forward, tyres screeching as Jensen growled. Misha grabbed onto his seat,

“Jesus Jensen! You really are going to cause an accident – slow the fuck down!” Jensen huffed, but slowed a little.

They made it back to the apartment in record time – practically sprinting to the door. Once they were inside they were all over each other – mouth on mouth, hands in hair.

Jared’s cough interrupted them – making them reluctantly break apart.

“Um, hey guys…” Gen was sitting next to Jared on the couch.

Jensen’s eyes widened. “Oh, uh, hey there Gen.” He laughed awkwardly. “Jared didn’t _say_ you were coming round.” He glared at Jared, who raised his hands in defence,

“I didn’t expect you guys to be back so early! Or make an entrance like _that._ ”

“Wait, Jared does this mean you actually _kept_ a secret?” Misha asked, lightening the mood.

“You mean I was right?” Gen interjected, eyes widened. Jared looked at Jensen and Misha questioningly. Jensen gave in and nodded, looking at Misha.

“Right about what?” Misha asked, confused.

“We were betting on you guys getting together – have been for months.” Gen replied. Misha raised his eyebrows.

“Huh, well I guess the cat’s out. If Jared trusts you; I trust you, just don’t tell anyone, okay?” Jensen asked,

“Of course. Well we’ll let you guys get back to your night.” Gen smirked, and Jensen nodded, smiling sheepishly before leading Misha back to their bedroom.

“Time for part two of the date.” He said darkly once inside.

“You’re really okay with her knowing?” Misha asked, worriedly.

“Yeah. I really am.”

“Good.” Misha said before latching onto Jensen’s mouth, hands all over him. They made it to the bed – Misha straddling Jensen,

“We- we didn’t lock the door,” Jensen panted from under Misha.

“You really think they’re gonna want to interrupt us?” He asked, not relinquishing the attack of his lips on Jensen’s clavicle.

“Good point.” Jensen huffed, tugging Misha’s shirt over his head.

Once they were both fully undressed, Jensen took some control;

“On your knees.” He commanded in a stern voice. Misha complied and shuffled so his cock was bouncing on Jensen’s lips. Jensen looked up at the other man’s face, kitten licking the head of his cock teasingly.

“ _Babe_.” Misha groaned in frustration and want. Jensen smirked and took Misha’s length in his mouth – eliciting a moan from the man above him

A few minutes later Misha was fucking Jensen’s mouth; doubled over, moaning and gasping.

Suddenly they were interrupted by an alarm on Misha’s phone going off.

“Shit, sorry.” Misha leaned over to pick it up – with Jensen still vehemently sucking him. He shut the alarm off, and was about to toss his phone away when he froze.

“Shit, fuck, _shit_.” He muttered, scrambling to his feet, making Jensen choke in the process.

“What is it Mish?” He asked, confused, coughing as Misha hurriedly got dressed.

“I’ve um- _fuck_ –I’ve got to go.” Misha said, grabbing his phone and a bag of his stuff before rushing out of the apartment, leaving the other man hurt and concerned. Jensen grabbed his phone and pulled on some boxers and a bathrobe, staggering around the room in his hurry.

When he got to the living room he saw Gen and Jared looking at him in confusion.

“What was that about?” Jared asked.

“I have no fucking clue.” Jensen replied, worried. “We were just… _Yeah,_ and he saw something on his phone and ran out.”

“Well… Where would he go?” Jared asked,

“I don’t know, his old apartment maybe?”  

“You gonna follow him?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess…” Jensen stopped when his phone buzzed in his hand.

_I’m so sorry for leaving like that – I’ll call you tomorrow?_

“It’s from Mish.” Jensen explained, before sighing loudly and tossing his phone on an armchair. “I guess I’m staying here.”

“You’re not going after him?” Jared asked, surprised. Jensen sighed and shrugged,

“He said he’d call me tomorrow. Why, you think I should?”

“I dunno man, he just seemed kinda off you know?”

Jensen thought for a moment before grabbing his phone and sprinting to the front door.

“Wish me luck.” He said, before disappearing out the front door, ignoring Jared’s incredulous:

“You’re going like _that_?”

Jensen ran to his car; sporting a robe that barely covered his boxer-clad body. He sped to Misha’s apartment, mind racing with possibilities.

He pulled up outside, not even hesitating to rush in; despite his current attire.

“Mish?!” He knocks on the door, the sound echoing loudly down the hallway. After a few minutes of silence he knocks again, “Misha?”

The door cracks open revealing the startlingly blue eyes peering from the shadows behind.

“Jen, please go home. I’m sorry, I’ll explain tomorrow.” Misha sounds sad and pleading, and the tone makes Jensen dither on the threshold. Finally he gives in.

“You sure man? I mean, are you okay?”

“I’m sure Jensen. I’ll be fine.” Misha smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Jensen nods slightly and Misha shuts the door.  
“Who was that?” A woman’s voice asks from inside.

“That was Jensen, babe. He thought he left something here.” Misha replies casually.

_Vicki._

Jensen sighed and kicked himself for not realising sooner why Misha had freaked out.

He wrapped his robe a little tighter around himself; suddenly self-concious of his indecency.

He couldn’t sleep that night. His mind was plagued by worry and guilt. It wasn’t helping that Gen stayed over and they were ‘sleeping’ in the room next door. Jensen groaned and buried his head in the pillow. It smelled like Misha.

 

There was an incessant buzzing sound coming from somewhere near Misha’s head. He groaned and buried his head into the pillow. It smelled like Jensen.

The noise seemed to be getting louder, but it could have just been Misha being dragged out of dream-land. He sighed and cracked his eyes open – catching sight of his beautiful wife sleeping next to him. All thoughts of his secret lover escaped Misha’s mind; it seemed just like the good old days, without interruption and deception, just trust and love.

After a few moments she groaned, rolling over to turn her alarm off.

“What _time_ is it?” Misha asked incredulously after noticing the darkness out the window.

“Four.” Vicki sighed, rubbing her eyes and rolling out of bed, unceremoniously due to the eight-month baby bump protruding from her.

“ _Why?_ ” Misha asked, even more incredulous.

“I’ve been preparing for _baby_.” She defended, laying a protective hand on her belly.

“Well come back to bed.” Misha grunted indignantly, pouting.

Vicki didn’t reply, just crawled back under the covers, snuggling under the comforting arm of her husband.

 

Misha woke up without a single text from Jensen; which he found surprising. There was one from Jared asking if he was okay and one from Vicki which read,

_Hey babe, I forgot to tell you I’m meeting up with Claire today. Be back around 4 xx_

Misha was disappointed, but relived. This gave him time to think, and to talk to Jensen.

He took an unnecessarily long, verging on wasteful shower that morning – trying to think through his life.

After that he ate some cereal and checked his emails, going through his routine. It all felt so unremarkable, but at the same time he felt as if his whole life was balanced on this apical decision.

 

At midday there was a knock at Jensen’s door. He sighed, tearing himself away from the TV to go answer it.

Standing there was a slightly bedraggled, sweaty Misha. He must have noticed Jensen’s slight surprise at his appearance.

“I um, I was jogging.” Misha said flatly, glancing down at himself.

“Yeah I gathered that.” Jensen chuckled nervously. “You wanna come in?” His voice was apprehensive.

Misha thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No, thanks. I just, um, I thought I should explain… And apologise I guess - for last night.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” Jensen began, “I mean your wife came man, you had to-“ Misha cut him off with a look.

“No I _am,_ I’m sorry Jen. I shouldn’t have freaked out so much, and I shouldn’t have left you in the dark. I just, uh, got a text from her saying she was coming over to surprise me and… And I panicked.” Misha looked away with guilt and sadness. “I, um, I’ve been thinking last night and, well, and this morning I guess,” He couldn’t meet Jensen’s eyes. “I felt so damn guilty and downright _shitty_ when Vick texted. I mean you were _blowing me_ man!” He was shouting now and Jensen tried to look around to check no nosy neighbours were listening in. “I _still_ feel shitty.” He quieted and his tone was serious. Jensen’s heart was starting to beat faster as he realised what his lover was saying. “I um,” He began, pausing to drag a hand over his face. “I don’t know if I can do this man.” His eyes were glassy.

Jensen felt his heart sink. He felt sick and he felt _angry._

But he mostly felt drained, and he _knew_ this was coming – it couldn’t have gone on forever; not like this.

He realised he had been staring vacantly at the floor for far too long, avoiding Misha’s worried, broken gaze.

“Jen?” He asked, hesitant and quiet.

“Hm?” Jensen finally met Misha’s eyes, immediately regretting it when they swam in unspilled tears and worried thoughts.

“Did… Did you hear me?” Misha asked carefully.

“What? Oh yeah.” He took a breath and nodded. “Okay.”

Misha looked at him surprised, “ _Okay?_ ”

Jensen nodded. “I mean come on,” He laughed, although it sounded harsh and jagged. “We both _knew_ this was coming. Didn’t we?” He was choking back tears by this point and his words were angry.

“Um,” Misha began.

“No, it’s fine.” Jensen spat, before calming. “Really Misha, it’s _fine._ I’m _sorry._ ” He whispered, retreating inside and closed the door.

Jensen leaned against the door for a few minutes, letting the reality gloss over him, without having to accept it _just_ yet.

“Jensen?” Gen’s voice called out. “Are you okay?”

Jensen snapped back to reality, standing up straight and making sure his face was presentable and tear-free. “Yeah. Yeah I’m good.” I. Am. Good.” He said, turning to face her. “How did you sleep? Oh wait you guys didn’t.” He winked. It was probably lude and not really an acceptable thing to say, but Jensen really wasn’t thinking.

“Was that Misha?” Gen ignored his question and replied with one of her own, walking carefully over.

“Hm? Oh that, uh, that was, uh, yeah that was Misha.” Jensen stuttered, nodding.

“What did he want?” Gen asked casually, but they both knew it wasn’t a casual visit.

“He was just explaining what happened last night.” Jensen said quietly, his resolve crumbling.

“And… And what _did_ happen last night?”

Jensen sighed and sat heavily on the couch. “It’s hard to explain.” He stated, but Gen looked like she wasn’t going to stop until she got more information than that sorry attempt. “Look, Gen, it doesn’t matter okay? It really doesn’t matter _anymore._ ”

Gen raised an eyebrow. “You mean…?” She sat carefully next to Jensen, like he was a bomb that might fling shrapnel at her if she made a wrong move.

“Yeah. Yeah I mean that.” Jensen replied quietly, frowning at the floor. Gen’s eyes turned sympathetic and almost _personally_ hurt.

“Oh Jensen, I’m sorry. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe you guys can sort it out.” She sounded hopeful. It made Jensen laugh.

“Darlin’ there’s no sortin’ this out.” He was still chuckling as he stood up and went to get a case of beer, taking it through to his bedroom. Shortly after Jared came out, looking sleep-ruffled.

“Did he just call you darlin’?” He asked, getting some coffee.

Gen nodded, “Yeah but I think he was kinda upset.”

Jared raised an eyebrow, “He  didn’t _sound_ upset.”

“Yeah but did you see the _bar_ he took to his bedroom?”

Jared glanced towards Jensen’s door. “No… What happened?”

“I think Misha broke up with him.” Gen said, sadly.

“What?!” Jared’s jaw went slack. “No way! They looked like they were doin’ so good…”

Gen shrugged, “I thought so too, but Jensen seemed to think it was irreparable.”

 

Misha was out at dinner with his wife when his phone started ringing. He was worried it was Jensen at first, but when he looked he saw it was Jared.

“Hey babe, mind if I take this?” He asked,  
“Go ahead…” Vicki was absorbed in a book anyway.

“Hey Jared.” Misha walked out onto the restaurant balcony. The cool evening air was refreshing and the night was calm.

“Dude, what the fuck happened?” Jared asked, startling away the peace. Worryingly Misha couldn’t tell if he was angry or concerned.

“What do you mean?” He asked hesitantly.

“You know damn well what I mean man, Jensen’s been hauled up in his room all day with a fuckload of beer, and he won’t talk to me!”

“ _Shit_. I’m sorry. I, um, we broke up.”

“I know that much!” Jared exclaimed, “But _why?_ You guys seemed so happy.” His voice saddened.

“I know. We were.” Misha sighed. “It’s complicated; it’s hard to explain…”

“…And a bunch of other cliché terms that I’ve been getting all day? Yeah. I’ve heard.”

Misha can imaging Jared’s bitchface on the other end of the line. “Well it is!” He protests, weakly. “Look, I don’t know what I can do man. I feel like I’d just make it worse.” Misha sounded at a loss.

Jared sighed, then after a moment, “Well then come to him as a friend.”

“What?”

“Come talk to him as a friend – you guys got on great before y’all were in each other’s pants.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Jared.”

“Yes. It is.” Jared groaned, “Look man, if you don’t do something, the guy’s gonna drink himself to death, I swear.”

“He can handle a drink.” Misha said weakly, knowing that this wasn’t just a few beers. Jared responded with a scarily threatening silence. “Okay! Okay, fine. Give me half an hour.”

“See ya then.” Jared said gleefully, and then hung up.

 

 

“Hey, um, Jensen?” Misha knocked quietly on his bedroom door, Jared giving him an overly enthusiastic thumbs-up from the living room.

“What?” Jensen slurred tiredly from inside.

“It’s Misha, do… Do you wanna talk or anything?” Misha cringed at himself. There was silence. “Jen?”

“Fine! Come in, geez.”

Misha opened the door slowly, taking in the drunken mess on the bed.

“Hey Jen.” Misha came in and perched on the edge of the bed. “I’m… I’m sorry for doing- y’know _that._ I um, I didn’t realise you’d be so cut up about it, I guess.” He looked away guiltily.

“No, Mish I understand. Totally. It’s just gonna take time - I love you.” Jensen said kindly. “But… But I think I need some time, and so do you – you’re gonna have a kid soon man! You can’t go sleepin’ around with shmucks like me.” He chuckled, making Misha’s mouth lift slightly at the corners.

“Yeah. Yeah okay.” He nodded. “You’re right. You’re gonna be okay though? And _we’re_ gonna be okay?” Misha asked seriously.

“I’ll be fine. I just drink to clear my head y’know?” He laughed again, “And yeah. _We’ll_ be fine. Hell, we survived _months_ without sleeping together before this.” He grinned, making Misha mirror him. He was glad Jensen was being more positive than Jared had made out on the phone.

“We’re good.” Misha echoed, more to himself than anything. “ _We’re good._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! That's it. Sorry it wasn't all romantic, happy ending, but it had to tie in with its sequel 'Washington'. So if you want a little more to this story, check those chapters out! I hope you guys enjoyed, and I'm sorry if this chapter seemed a little rushed, I wan't really inspired to finish it, but I set myself a word limit and... Bleh. But yeah, I have other works, and I'm sure I'll be writing more Cockles in the future, so stick around!  
> And oh yeah, say hi on Tumblr here- https://www.tumblr.com/blog/showmethedestiel  
> See ya around!  
> -B


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